Fox News Idiot Thinks COVID Lockdowns Were Trick To Make You Fat Which Was Trick To Sell You Diet Pills

JOE BIDEN (who was not president) MADE YOU FAT!!1!

This just sounds right.

On Fox News, one of the nameless faceless idiots — OK she has a face and a name, it is "Rachel Campos-Duffy" and that is her face — has a new conspiracy theory about COVID.

Follow the bouncing moron, if you can.

IDIOT: Pandemic would have been a really great time to scare America back into shape. We learned early on that one of the biggest predictors of COVID-related deaths was obesity.

Uh huh.

IDIOT: But what did Democrats do? They shut down the playgrounds, gyms, and they forced you to stay in your house and order takeout.

Wait. Yes, gyms shut down because early on it was pretty clear they were superspreaders for COVID.

And maybe we guess some playgrounds were closed. Of course, the average adult does not work out at "playground."

Parents waking up before the kids get up to play in the sandbox and rough-house on the monkey bars. LOL.

Things that were not shut down? Going outside. Fucking walking in your neighborhood. Going for a run. Doing exercises in your own damn house. Moving your ass in other ways we cannot think of right now.

We honest to God wrote a Pulitzer-worthy article in the first weeks of what passed for lockdowns in Trump's America, Land Of The Lazy And Ignorant, about how to Prancercise In The Time Of Coronavirus. 

And nobody was "forced" to order takeout, any more than they are right now. People ordered takeout in lieu of going to restaurants . Maybe to support local businesses and maybe because it was just a fuckin' weird time and if we want Chinese takeout again we're gonna get it, go fuck yourself.

There were still grocery stores. There was still produce. There were weird shortages but there was food.

IDIOT: Instead of focusing on our health, America put on the pandemic equivalent of the freshman 15.

Fuck off, Fox News asshole.

OK, so up to this point we've been in the land of ignorant Fox News morons, but it hasn't gone full batshit paste-eating DSM-V "I dID mY oWn rEsEarCHHHH!" levels of conspiracy theorizing.

Then Campos-Duffy played a clip. That is when it got weird and really stupid and confusing.

You see, there is a Biden administration appointee named Dr. Fatima Cody Stanford, who is an obesity expert at Mass General Health in Boston. Rupert Murdoch-owned pretend "news" outfits have been writing about her, trying to gin up outrage that she is on the USDA's committee for coming up with recommended dietary guidelines. They claim she is "under fire" for comments she made about the link between genetics and obesity, namely that she says the number one predictor of obesity is genetics.

Obviously that would be offensive to Fox News types, because they need a permission structure to judge people for not being responsible/morally upright/whatever as they are. Cannot blame genetics! Even if it's listed as a factor in obesity on pretty much every real medical website we just spent five seconds googling. 

But anyway, Dr. Stanford is UNDER FIRE!

Of course, this is the Fox News Sucking Its Own Dick Feedback Loop of "under fire."

How it typically works is that one of the on-air hosts will wild out about something. Then one of the young white "journalists" at Fox News or the New York Post will write that so-and-so is UNDER FIRE for a thing, and they only quote one person, and it is the on-air host. Or that, but backwards. Or they won't even back up the "under fire" part, they'll just say it's a thing and cite no sources.

Or they'll say "experts" or "doctors" are saying a thing, and then they'll quote like one wingnut whose expertise is highly questionable. ( Here's a good example where according to Fox News pilots and airmen were mad at Secretary Mayor Pete for grounding all the airplanes for woke reasons. It did not quote one actual working pilot.)

So the Fox News idiot showed a clip of Dr. Stanford talking to Lesley Stahl on "60 Minutes," and then said:

IDIOT: If her response sounds strange, this might put some of the missing pieces together. Dr. Stanford has taken thousands of dollars from pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk which manufactures the miracle weight loss drug Ozempic. Can you say conflict of interest?

Huh? Conflict of interest? In what? An obesity specialist who has taken a few bucks in consulting fees — not very much, and we know that because, again, we know how to google shit — is also on the committee to figure out dietary guidelines for Americans?

Is she recommending something like ONLY EAT CANDY BARS AND FISTFULS OF OZEMPIC?

Because that might be suspect.

But wait, how the hell did we get here? The segment above is short!

Campos-Duffy started out talking about how the pandemic forced everything to shut down and Joe Biden — who wasn't president when actual semi-lockdowns started — banned exercise, or whatever her mangled brain was saying.

And within two minutes, she was babbling about how maybe people are fat because Joe Biden's favorite doctor has gotten some money from a pharma company that makes a weight loss medicine (and also other medicines) and IT IS A CONSPIRACY!@1!1!1!!@

If this all seems stupid and ridiculous and convoluted, welcome to what happens when you actually deconstruct a Fox News segment, the amount of absolute bullshit that explodes into your face the second you start peeling back the layers.

There was a whole thing about food pyramids in there somewhere, it didn't relate to either lockdowns or the obesity doctor. Just be aware that SOMEBODY ELSE! says LUCKY CHARMS! are more healthy than AN EGG!

If somebody you love thinks Fox News is the real news, please find them a therapist or a hobby or force them to go outside and do a calisthenic or do a dementia test and see if they can identify "camel" or something.

It's for their own good, and Big Pharma did not pay us to say that.

[ Media Matters ]

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