Fox News Presents Holiday Classic 'How The Black Lives Matter Stole Christmas'
War on Christmas slightly revised this year.
Never let it be said that Fox News fights the same imaginary War on Christmas every year, because this year's War on Christmas is not your father's War on Christmas.
It's more like your Confederate racist shitbag great grandpa's War on Christmas, come to think of it.
Pete Hegseth, the Fox anchor with the poorest hygiene that we know of , explained recently that Black Lives Matter is LITERALLY trying to destroy Christmas. "That's actually not hyperbole," he added, in case you were inclined to think, "Oh, there goes a Fox News white man, shitting his Underoos over Black people again," instead of taking him seriously. He means it. It's not hyperbole.
Hegseth explained, looking as greasy as usual. Media Matters with the transcript, also as usual:
PETE HEGSETH: Well, Black Lives Matter, trying to destroy Christmas as we know it. That's actually not hyperbole. With their new campaign "Dreaming of a Black Christmas," the radical group is calling for a complete boycott of white-owned businesses this holiday season. Doesn't sound racist at all.
Because we know how to look things up for ourselves, we were able to go to the Black Lives Matter website and learn about the Black Christmas campaign, just to see how full of shit Hegseth is. It's so innocuous, if you're not a mouthbreathing white racist. It has sections for #BuildBlack and #BuyBlack and #BankBlack, and it indeed encourages people to spend their money with Black-owned businesses and banks, instead of propping up white supremacist systems.
And if you aren't into the anti-capitalist language on the site, as we imagine Fox News isn't, that's one thing. But we do find it weird that the notion of using your money to support Black-owned businesses over the holiday season qualifies as DESTROY CHRISTMAS AS WE KNOW IT.
Is it only Christmas if white people get money, Pete? Is it NOT Christmas if white people DON'T get money? Does supporting Black people somehow ruin the whole celebration for Pete Hegseth? How does Christmas work, on Fox News?
He continued:
HEGSETH: But it's not just white-owned businesses you're not allowed to shop at this year, if you want to buy food for your Christmas dinner, skip the farmers' market. Those are now apparently racist too. According to a webinar, reportedly boosted by Washington State University — because they're examples of white supremacy and white dominant culture.
We don't know what that one is about, but we can't imagine it's based on some random story that Fox is using to scare white people into believing critical race theory is MURDERING ALL FARMERS' MARKETS. Fox News would never do something like that.
Haha wait, just found it! Spoiler, our last paragraph is basically correct.
Anyway, after Hegseth set it up, he brought on some people to bitch and moan with him about the Blacks. He apologized to Tomi Lahren for saying her name wrong, and then she said whatever canned bullshit she had prepared about how Black Lives Matter is bad. Another guy said some shit — it was his job to talk about the farmers' markets — after Tomi Lahren said her shit.
It is a Fox News clip, it is not news and it is not something new or interesting.
We just wanted you to know the part about how Black Lives Matter is LITERALLY DESTROYING CHRISTMAS and how that is not hyperbole, because that greasy skidmark up there says so.
[ Media Matters ]
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When I was 10, I thought that slicked back hair look was pretty slick. Dave Emerson, whose dad killed himself, had very neatly slicked back like that. I was jealous (not about the dead dad bit). My dad got me the OG greasy hair oil, literally the stuff that they meant when in the Vitalis oil. It was Wild Root Hair Oil. It did not work for me, I have very thick hair (still now, 50 years later) and it couldn't be trained that way. Also, too, ADHD is not best for maintaining a hair style that requires constant attention.
This is a comment of not import whatsoever, just how fucking old that hair style is and a reminiscence to (hopefully) entertain you.
You can't support white baby Jesus if you shop at black owned businesses. Sheesh, its like you don't even know how Christmas works.