Hey, you takers! Fox news has some doubleplusgood Newspeak for you, fresh from the Frank Luntz playbook: There is no "government shutdown" going on. Instead, the Foxnews.com homepage refers only to the "slimdown" of the federal government. Slimdowns: so sexy! So hot right now! So "right-sized" you could fit something, say a government or a cancer baby, in a bathtub, and drown it!
Polly looked up from the Deland x-43 rangefinder. Finding no new information, she re-booted the Jeffers MkII Target Indicator. Again, nothing new. Being overwhelmed by boredom, she took her Glock 9mm "Peacemaker" and blew her brains out.
I guess when Rick Perry couldn&#039;t remember that third department he was going to <i>shut down,</i> it was just a &quot;memory slimdown.&quot;
Fuck these craven shits, they&#039;ve been ranting FOREVER about shutting down government. You did it, and now you want to rename it something less toxic? I&#039;d be pissed at your utterly shameless transparently idiotic attempt at damage control, but my schaden is having a freuddown.
Either way, it&#039;s a downer.
Nah...he&#039;s just using a natural method of slimming.
Polly looked up from the Deland x-43 rangefinder. Finding no new information, she re-booted the Jeffers MkII Target Indicator. Again, nothing new. Being overwhelmed by boredom, she took her Glock 9mm &quot;Peacemaker&quot; and blew her brains out.
It will keep the little shits too busy to be rapey.
Finally, the answer to the musical question, &quot;What does the Fox say?&quot;
Other terms that Luntzed in the Patriot Bowl (didn&#039;t focus test well):
It&#039;s not a Shutdown, it&#039;s __________
1. <i>Amputaterrific!</i> [Catchy Theme Song TBD] 2. <i>Surprise Surgery</i> 3. <i>Non-elective Knifing</i> 4. <i>Freedom Furloughs</i> 5. <i>Partial Temporarily Lessened Full Employment</i>
That Luntz, he&#039;s one baaad mother-- Slim yo mouth! I&#039;m just talkin&#039; bout Luntz
I heard the same thing. I tried using small words and finger puppetry, but it was like trying to explain quantum physics to my dog.
Serious upfists for &quot;Hairdo Delivery System.&quot; I am so stealing that!
I guess when Rick Perry couldn&#039;t remember that third department he was going to <i>shut down,</i> it was just a &quot;memory slimdown.&quot;
Fuck these craven shits, they&#039;ve been ranting FOREVER about shutting down government. You did it, and now you want to rename it something less toxic? I&#039;d be pissed at your utterly shameless transparently idiotic attempt at damage control, but my schaden is having a freuddown.
&quot;Slim the door, please, I&#039;m taking an ex-food in here!&quot;
But what about those caks we lik?!!!
Ghost of Goebbels Gets Good Gig
Are we still at war with Eastasia?
...&quot;Involuntary Caloric Reduction&quot;
Maybe we could just call the entire government a World War II Memorial. Then the Republicans would keep it open.
Did someone already make that joke today/yesterday? Well, too bad, cuz it&#039;s fucking true.