Fox News anchor, still-living Christian martyr, and legendary urine-drinker Todd Starnes treated the congregation of Abilene Baptist Church in Augusta, Georgia, to one beautiful "sermon" Sunday, with lots of terrifying examples of just how bad Christians have it in America today. Never mind that it was less a sermon than a collection of half-true stories from his dumb book
I recently came across a real find in my genealogical research--old family notes put online. I think of them often these days. My great-great-great grandparents were Baptists in Indiana. My g-g-g-grandmother was actually a Quaker, but converted when she married.
They gave three sons to the Union side in the Civil War-one of whom ended up in Andersonville. My own great-great-grandfather was one of the three; he lied about his age and entered the army at 16. They were Republicans, and staunchly anti-slavery. When certain Democrats found out their three sons had joined the Union Army, they came up to the fence and screamed at the house, "Three sons in the Union Army? I'll bet you want your daughters to all marry ni**ers too!" This was obviously a very scary time for my family, considering the story was never forgotten and has been passed down.
My, how things have switched around. The Baptists are now the liars and bigots, the Republicans are the racist haters, and conservatives still won't own their history of shitting on everyone they can in order to stay on top of the dungheap. Losers, all. My ancestors would be appalled.
White-non-Hispanics haven't been a majority here in CA for a while, and we've recently become "not the plurality". Did we export all the oppression criers when we sent the Limbaugh fans away to all the inter-mountain west states?
At the beginning of his "sermon", it sounds like Todd Starnes only came to Georgia because he was hungry and thirsty (don`t forget the reference to "sweet tea", the house wine of the south). You know how they say you shouldn`t go to the grocery store when you`re hungry, Maybe when you come to Georgia to suck up to religious "martyrs in the making", you should stop and have a bite at the "Krystal" restaurant (another food that you can`t get outside the godly south) at the ATL. airport before you go to church.
That line about pork butt is the only clever thing one of these Christian Martyrs has ever said. I do think that the Southern way of pork is a sign of God's grace. BBQ rescued me from the prison of Midwestern cooking as a child. Lord bless the Great Migration, which carried jazz, blues, and BBQ to the North and praise the Lord did it without bringing the Southern Baptists too.
http://jokeanatomy.com/feat...
"shoulder"
Since the fucking country is filled with Christians, statistics say "yes".
Referring back to the billboard a couple articles ago:
"Pork. The One You Love."
Zactly
Yeah, I've never smoked a pork butt but I'd imagine they're hard to light.
He IS a smoked pork butt. What a perfect example of a talking black hole.
Jen is on a "fuck these fuckers with votes" roll today! :D You go!
It's almost like someone drained all the remaining honesty out of Karl Rove....(I know. How did they find it?)
I recently came across a real find in my genealogical research--old family notes put online. I think of them often these days. My great-great-great grandparents were Baptists in Indiana. My g-g-g-grandmother was actually a Quaker, but converted when she married.
They gave three sons to the Union side in the Civil War-one of whom ended up in Andersonville. My own great-great-grandfather was one of the three; he lied about his age and entered the army at 16. They were Republicans, and staunchly anti-slavery. When certain Democrats found out their three sons had joined the Union Army, they came up to the fence and screamed at the house, "Three sons in the Union Army? I'll bet you want your daughters to all marry ni**ers too!" This was obviously a very scary time for my family, considering the story was never forgotten and has been passed down.
My, how things have switched around. The Baptists are now the liars and bigots, the Republicans are the racist haters, and conservatives still won't own their history of shitting on everyone they can in order to stay on top of the dungheap. Losers, all. My ancestors would be appalled.
Lulz are good for the soul.
Ich bin ein smoked pork butt!...or something.
I think the animal rights people would be all over you for cruelty to animals. Of course, they'd have a point.
White-non-Hispanics haven't been a majority here in CA for a while, and we've recently become "not the plurality". Did we export all the oppression criers when we sent the Limbaugh fans away to all the inter-mountain west states?
At the beginning of his "sermon", it sounds like Todd Starnes only came to Georgia because he was hungry and thirsty (don`t forget the reference to "sweet tea", the house wine of the south). You know how they say you shouldn`t go to the grocery store when you`re hungry, Maybe when you come to Georgia to suck up to religious "martyrs in the making", you should stop and have a bite at the "Krystal" restaurant (another food that you can`t get outside the godly south) at the ATL. airport before you go to church.
That line about pork butt is the only clever thing one of these Christian Martyrs has ever said. I do think that the Southern way of pork is a sign of God's grace. BBQ rescued me from the prison of Midwestern cooking as a child. Lord bless the Great Migration, which carried jazz, blues, and BBQ to the North and praise the Lord did it without bringing the Southern Baptists too.