258 Comments

Omni-impotence.

Expand full comment

"Sin" is defined as an action, or inaction, that is against the will of "God." The purpose of chocolate, as we have processed it and put it into the foodstuffs that we consume, is to be eaten. Therefore eating chocolate IS compatible with the wiil of "God." Not eating chocolate is the sin. It is also one of the major food groups along with caffeine, bacon and alcoholic beverages.

Expand full comment

God ran out of locusts so he sent trump instead.

Expand full comment

The version with Paul Thomas as Philip Toubus cast as Peter?

Expand full comment

Whether it be AIDS, 9/11, Katrina or now Corona they always say God is punishing ppl for being liberals. But Since correlation = causation [always]—Maybe God was punishing us for electing Reagan, Bush & *rump(?)

Expand full comment

I'm with you there.

Expand full comment

You have my envy.

Expand full comment

There are way more than one would think. I respect anyone who figures out who they are, and enjoys it with consenting adults.

Expand full comment

I thought everything was in his plan. He created everything (which includes coronavirus SARS-CoV-2). He knows everything (including that there will always be mutations in viruses). He kills people with all sorts of things he created.At the first god-allowed attach on humanity, 25% of the human population on Earth was killed when Cain smashed Abel's skull with a rock.

Later, he only kept 8 people alive (and two of everything else) by filling the entire earth "up to the tallest mountain top) with water. And there were no children on the boat he built.Then there was the black plague, the Spanish flu and AIDS.

Ebola doesn't count because it's a fast burner with a very short shelf life.AIDS doesn't count because it restricts itself to small groups of people, mostly with hemophilia, non-mainline sexual preferences or the kindness demonstrated by people willing to share needles when they use dope.But this new one has all the characteristics it needs to be a species killer.No natural immunity, spreads before symptoms show, is spread by touched surfaces, coughs, sneezes and probably by transfer of bodily fluids.

If it has two more mutations, it will be the perfect humanicide: Full-airborne and more lethality.

But god has time to work out those two little changes.

Expand full comment

My thoughts exactly; J.C.! You're awesome but many professed followers are antisocial idiots! Time for the non-frummies to take back the Faith! Jesus was the Original SJW!

Expand full comment

Ironically; Billy Graham would find his son's pronouncements incredibly asinine.

Expand full comment

Eventually. See? God is just after all, in the end.

Expand full comment

Yup! I love it when wingnuts self-own. Walking "Darwin Award" recipients.

Expand full comment

Yea but Gawd won that one time with Little Joe Jackson, but of course He had Petunia working in His and Joe's corner. Personally if I was Joe I'd probably have gone with Georgia Brown, but maybe that's just me.https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Expand full comment