The Accidental Kidnappers. Tabs, Fri., April 11, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

What are we reading together this fine day?

Supreme Court after a weirdly long time considering the facts of the case orders Trump to show its work on bringing back his “accidental” kidnap victim, Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Or at least tells the last judge who told them to bring his ass back to “clarify” her order so they can report back on what they’re not going to do to bring his ass back.

The decision means the administration does not immediately have to try to return Abrego Garcia to the United States because a judge-imposed deadline has already expired but “should be prepared to share what it can concerning the steps it has taken and the prospect of further steps,” the unsigned decision said.

Seems like the sticking point is the Court is actually somehow buying that it would be hard to tell El Salvador to give back a guy we’re paying them to torture imprison. It’s not like he’s the parents and children the Trump administration separated the first time and then lost. It’s not like they don’t know where this guy is.

The district court judge may have exceeded her authority in saying the government had to not just “facilitate” but also “effectuate” Abrego Garcia's return, the court added.

Hahahaha fuck you.

(NBC News / decision)

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem says the migrants kidnapped to El Salvador should be there “for the rest of their lives.” Including presumably the guy they conceded was “a mistake” and then went all the way to the Supreme Court to get permission to not try to get back. Based on what? Doesn’t matter. (Axios)

Two tabs from before this order: Once again, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is rewarding Donald Trump for defying court orders. That will teach him! (Our Liz at Public Notice) Elie Mystal meanwhile says John Roberts is like the cops in Uvalde. Ouch. (The Nation) Has that changed or not changed since last night? Discuss!

Damn, we’d completely forgotten about the student they kidnapped to kick this all off. Here’s Marco Rubio’s evidence against him. (It is none. None evidence.) (AP)

Hmmmm emoji! (After a half day of snark and complaints, ICE eventually pulled this version and replaced it with another where “IDEAS” was replaced with “INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY.” — Dok Zoom)

Yes of course the economy is tiptoeing very gingerly on a thin patch of ice, businesses love not knowing what’s happening three months from now or tomorrow. (AP)

Did Trump corruptly enrich all his followers (and presumably his family and himself) or was the whole thing as stupid as it looked? Well, probably both. (Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Terrible)

Don’t worry, I’m sure they sold them all again immediately once they made their billions. Stock market’s down again tee hee isn’t it exciting. (AP)

The House has passed the SAVE act. Hope you didn’t change your name when you got married, ladies, or like my old mom you’ll simply no longer have the right to vote. (NBC News) And it’s passed a budget “blueprint,” whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. (It means they’ve promised the debt hardliners they’ll cut $1.5 trillion from the budget but haven’t said “how,” because then they’d have to say out loud IT’S MEDICARE AND MEDICAID.) (CNN)

Olds on Social Security are fuuuuuucked. It’s “a shambles.” Which is exactly what the Right wanted: to starve Granny. (LA Times) Luckily JD Vance explains that “nearly half” the calls to Social Security are “fraudulent.” Get ready for “nearly half” of you to get thrown off Social Security! (Bernie Sanders is there to call LOUD BULLSHIT.) (HuffPost) Oh what’s this, Trump is “backing off” the demand that phone service for olds stop THIS COMING MONDAY and will still allow … some? Fuck you. (NPR) Aha, but don’t worry. If you are the victim of a tax fraud, you will never ever ever be helped because they have fired all the people. (New York mag)

As the person who deals with some of “the paperwork” at my second job at the girls’ public Detroit elementary school, the thought of having to verify 100 percent of applicants’ income within 10 days of receiving their application for their kids’ free school lunch is literally hilarious. But the Republicans think they can starve some children that way so :) (Detroit Free Press)

Speaking of lunch money, the Trump administration has literally stolen Maine’s, because they did badwrongthink (followed the law as decided by that commie rat bastard Justice Neil Gorsuch) and let trans girls play sports. (Erin in the Morning)

New York state department of education informs Education Secretary Linda McMahon they will not be promising to murder diversity. But thanks though! (Chalkbeat)

The Sound of Music, Nazis and tradwives, and the perfect woman who just wants to care for your seven to 10 kids. (Lithub)

Oh my lord that was unlistenable, let’s try something different.

That’s better. You’re welcome.

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