Fresh Off Setting Measles Free, Florida's Going To Cure Your Cancer With Horse Paste

Fine! Let them!

Casey DeSantis

Earlier this week, Casey DeSantis, wife of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, and Florida Surgeon General and snake oil enthusiast Dr. Joseph Ladapo held a press conference announcing $60 million in funding for cancer research. Under normal circumstances, with normal politicians — because President Trump is shutting down the cancer research system — this would be great news. Oh! Thank goodness, someone else is stepping in to backstop the loss of science that’s raised five-year cancer-survival rates from 49 percent in the ‘70s to 68 percent now!

Except no.

You see, much of the money will be going to fund research into “alternative” cancer therapies like diet, nutrition, and anti-parasitics like good ol’ Ivermectin.

“I know we should look at it,” DeSantis said regarding Ivermectin as a possible cure for cancer. “I know we should look at the benefits of it. We shouldn’t just speculate and guess.”

“There’s been a lot of chatter about it, and this very simple drug that happens to be very safe, by the way, has unfortunately, you know it’s so much it’s been weighed down by all this politics, especially during the Biden administration,” Ladapo chimed in.

Well, it wasn’t so much “politics” as it was that it was not actually effective and people just wanted to use it because they were told it wasn’t effective.

There actually have been studies into Ivermectin as an anti-cancer drug, and not entirely without promise. The problem is, those studies have been conducted on mice and the levels of the drug needed to have any effect at all would be toxic to human beings, and the level that would be safe would not actually do anything. Also, the drug, if used in conjunction with other drugs — for example, blood thinners like Warfarin that are often given to some cancer patients — can have some pretty bad side effects.

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However, judging by the responses to DeSantis’s tweet on the subject, many Floridians do not feel that the tests are even needed and that Ivermectin, other antiparasitic drugs, and our old friend hydroxychloroquine should just be available over the counter for any idiot who wants them.

“So how long is this research going to go on?? Provide the ivermectin, fenbendazole and other inexpensive medications. Kill the parasite and end cancer. Stop talking about it! It’s old and irritating,” wrote Debra17leo Queen of the night, who apparently believes cancer is a parasite — a common-enough belief that there is an AP fact check about how cancer is not a parasite that can be cured with Ivermectin.

Incredibly, MissBeck71Trump2024 has already discovered the cure for skin cancer, and it is “Ivermectin ‘horse paste’ applied topically twice a day, and oral Ivermectin by weight once daily for skin cancer.”

“No more research needed. My choice if I want to take Ivermectin and Fenbendazole. Make it OTC available now. MakisMedicine has the answer. Have a talk with him about his clients, testimonials and how the Canadian, Alberta government is trying to destroy him and outlaw Ivermectin,” said LibertyBell.

“Research is already done!!!!!! Stop spending our money. JUST HAVE IT OTC! It could be saving lives today!!” said Jodi.

“This is crazy, when there already is a cure for cancer. Dr Thomas Levy’s book, Curing the Incurable. He cured of his patients with high dose IV Vitamin C,” said Pam Preyer, who for sure seems like she knows what she’s talking about.

Now, this seems like the kind of thing where I should say “Hey! Don’t go taking cancer advice from Casey DeSantis or any of these other people!” or otherwise imploring people not to listen to them … but nope. I don’t care. There is nothing left within me to care. Let them eat horse paste. Let them eat horse shit, for all I care. Hell, maybe they’ll actually finally get worms from said horse shit and then they can finally have an actual legitimate use for the anti-parasitics they crave and think cure everything.

Quite frankly, the only reason to give a damn about these people trying to “cure” COVID with Ivermectin was because COVID is contagious and they were also taking up limited space in emergency rooms with their ridiculousness. They want to take it for cancer? Who the fuck cares? They’re adults, right? As long as they’re not giving it to their children, there’s no reason not to let them, or even to discourage them. Hell, have they considered getting on the black salve train? How about some Oleander? There are people who think that can cure cancer as well.

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The only thing I might be bothered by, were I a Florida citizen whose tax money would be going towards these grants, is the fact that they are bothering to “research” it at all. As stated, these people don’t seem to think they need any research at all, and all the proof they need is that “the libs” think it’s a terrible idea. In fact, as far as I can tell, there seems to be nothing these folks distrust more than medications that have been extensively researched and proven to be safe and effective.

During the announcement, Ladapo also took a moment to discuss the state’s equally batshit decision to end vaccine mandates for schools.

“I hope that we continue to reject the normal and we pursue a path that feels righteous, that feels like we’re actually, you know, aiming toward the thing that we want to improve,” Ladapo said, adding, “That opportunity is there. Thankfully, we have leadership, uniquely in this state, to do it. And I hope it spreads like, like all those minor viruses [measles, he’s talking about measles here] that my critics are afraid of, or something.”

That, you see, is worth caring about. Because that’s going to hurt and possibly kill children, that is going to leave some of them blind, that is going to leave them with serious problems for the rest of their lives. Those children have no choice in the matter, and they matter a hell of a lot more than grown-ass adults who want to slather themselves in horse paste.