Fulton County Cringe Continues With Lawyer Zooming In Underpants
In other news, middle-aged sex still interesting!
More Fulton County cringe! Did you not get enough second-hand embarrassment week before last from the sheer ickiness that is lawyers for Trump desperately trying to figure out if 50-something divorcees DA Fani Willis and her consultant Nathan Wade did the honka-honka, hey-diddle-diddle, wacka-chika wacka-chika, before Wade was hired? Would you like some more? You and Judge Scott McAfee both!
PREVIOUSLY!
Thus we are here in court (not physically) in Georgia to determine whether DA Willis’s office should be thrown off the case against Trump and his alleged attempted election-stealing codefendants because two middle aged people did some bones, and that means they can’t prosecute one noted non-extramarital bonerguy Mr. Donald J. Trump.
On Tuesday, it was Trump-side lawyers who were caught with their pants down. Literally, when attorney Christopher Kachouroff, attorney for Trump codefendant Harrison Floyd, was shown prancing around his office in his underwear on Zoom. And figuratively, when “star witness” Terrence Bradley glumly slunk to the stand again, to once again give Trump’s thirsty lawyers jack and shit to work with.
Bradley was Nathan Wade’s law partner and his divorce lawyer for his split with now-ex-wife Jocelyn, though the two apparently had a falling out and parted ways after Bradley was accused of sexual assault (which Bradley denies).
Back then, Ashleigh Merchant, lawyer for Trump codefendant Mike Roman, apparently saw an opportunity to make like best-friendsies with Bradley while he was at an especially gossipy point in his life. She got him to dish about his former partner and client, and dish he may have, but as it turns out whatever dish he dished he never had any actual firsthand knowledge of, at least that he admits to recollecting.
“He told you they had sex at [her] office, correct?” Merchant asked.
“I don’t recall him saying that, no,” Bradley replied.
This creates a bias against the accused election-stealing and not accused but in fact legally culpable dressing-room-rapist how? Who cares! Not his lawyers! They are way past ignoring stuff like the “financial gain” (from hiring her boyfriend who then bought her … ???) they had once tried to pin as the reason DA Willis was prosecuting poor Trump. Instead for a half-hour they tried to pin Bradley down, focused only on how Willis and Wade got past third base earlier than they said they did, and therefore they are LYING LIARS who should be DISBARRED for lying, so the case should get drop-kicked to the moon, or at least Willis should be disqualified, and the case launched into orbit for the Never-Never-Land of the Prosecuting Attorneys' Council of Georgia, for them to appoint a special prosecutor for it on the 32nd of next Smarch.
The seeming fruitlessness didn’t stop right-wing media and President Pussygrabber from being rapturous that the big gotcha had arrived, however.
In other news of desperation, also Monday Team Trump attempted to admit into record cell phone evidence from a private investigator they hired, who got phone records that allegedly show 2,000 calls and 10,000 texts between Willis and Wade, and special prosecutor Nathan Wade making nearly three dozen visits to Willis’s Hapeville neighborhood in 2021. Because flaming hot sexxx is the only reason two middle-aged people would ever be near the same block, or texting! You know us.
Oh, and lawyer Steve Sadow sent versions with Willis’s and Wade’s unredacted phone numbers to a right-wing reporter, and they soon wound up on social media, leading to a new round of harassment and threats that Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg can tack onto his exhibit list for his New York Trump gag-order request.
Trump’s legal teams live by the old adage it’s better to poop in the sink than sink in the poop. And sometimes you gotta do a little bit of both.
Speaking of, it is worth mentioning that Mike Roman, the client whose prying set off this whole filthy spectacle, is a long-time election try-to-fuck-arounder.
He got his political start running ballot security operations in Philadelphia for Republican Bruce Marks, who campaigned for the Pennsylvania state Senate way back in 1993 and lost narrowly to his Democratic opponent. But Marks’s legal team later convinced a federal judge that there were so many ballots in Latino neighborhoods with irregularities that he threw out hundreds of them, overturning the result and sending Marks to a PA state Senate seat.
In the 2008 presidential election, Roman made a splash by promoting a video of two Black guys standing outside a polling place in Philadelphia, one of them holding a billy club, which he howled was Democratic election intimidation. It caused such a stir he was named vice president of research for the Koch-supported Freedom Partners Chamber of Commerce Inc., and eventually joined the Trump White House, vetting political appointments. He later he joined the re-election campaign. Out of the shadows and finally having a moment! Wonkette wrote about our friends the Black Panthers feloniously holding doors open for old ladies about one million times, but we don’t feel like looking them up. Just trust us, they’re there!
The hearing will resume Friday, and will hopefully include closing arguments. And then McAfee will rule, like, whenever he feels like it, man.
What will he decide? Only he knows. All it takes is the appearance of bias, so he could jettison it to space if he wants to. You have to assume he was appointed by Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp for a reason, and that reason was not to make the Republican Party look bad on national television. It’s not great.
That was a lot. Please donate to keep us hydrated. We love you.
I'm still failing to see how a couple of lawyers boning each other has any effect on anything
In fairness to Drumpf, he’s probably still having trouble grasping the concept that people can have sex without one of them being paid for it.