Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!
USDA shutting down all the research into the diarrhea lettuce parasite, blames Congress. Gentlemen, don’t fight! There is plenty of blame for everyone! (Politico) Even the cattle ranchers don’t like Glenn Beck’s and therefore Trump’s and Ag Secretary Brooke Rollins’s new plan to not inspect our nation’s meat. (The Fucking News) RFK Jr. and his pathogen obstacle course: Rightsizing the new generation! (Alexandra Petri at The Atlantic)
Is closing all these polling places weeks before Texas’s midterm election “voter suppression” or are you just a silly little ninnymuggins? (The New Republic) Texas hospitals going to start losing $27 million a day in Medicaid funding, should be fine! (AP)
MAGA Shark Tank? Are they doing anything besides reality TV shows and wrestlemania? (Joe. My. God)
Four House Democrats being real turdburglars. Rest of Democrats are cool. (Mediaite via Yahoo! News) Nobody tell Joan Walsh about these fuckballs please, she doesn’t need to see that! (The Nation)
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A refundable tax credit to hire California journalists? Does this mean I get $20,000 toward new hire Brooke Binkowski’s salary??? GAVIN NEWSOM, YOU SIGN THAT RIGHT NOW! (Rebuild Local News) The rest of you, if you are not already and you are able, you scroll back up and help me pay Brooke!
Well I don’t think Trump should give part of Yosemite to some assholes so they get their own private entrance to the park! (NOTUS)
Man, Harmeet Dhillon, head of the DOJ’s “Civil Rights Division,” is really a dumb dick. (Gift link New York Times)
Commandante Greg Bovino was under investigation when he retired, you say? Oh, I think the next Dem Congress can follow through on that. (WGN)
Blinking man dot gif:
Former Rep. Michele Bachmann says the main problem in Gaza today is that refugees are getting too fat: “Their calorie count is over 3,000 calories per person a day from all the food that's coming in and the biggest problem they're dealing with most recently in Gaza is obesity.”
Heck yeah, we gon’ canonize Dorothy Day, heart hug! (Letters From Leo)
An Abortion, Every Day post about Daisy Chain Fields that is different from yesterday’s Tabs’s Abortion, Every Day post about Daisy Chain Fields :) (Abortion, Every Day)
Hope this works, it’s the New York Times spotify playlist for Olivia Rodriguez’s FUCK YEAH FEMINISM Daisy Chain Fields fest.
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Wonkette Flapjack Octopus > MAGA Shark Tank. Science fact, Jack. https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/its-a-flapjack-thats-a-fact-jack
Also you’ll be wanting a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/3b306155-14fe-4f43-a5bd-a8ee3640ff42?utm_source=share
From comments on the Dhillon story:
"There is a specific kind of contempt I reserve for people like Harmeet Dhillon. Here is a woman born in India, who moved with her family to the United States, became a citizen through "chain migration" and later benefited from the type of "elite" liberal arts education made possible by a free and democratic society—attending both Dartmouth and UVA—who now wields her privilege to destroy the very institutions she has built her life upon. The emotional injury she is trying to overcome by seeking vengeance must be deep. I wish she would seek therapy and leave the rest of us out of it."