Future Iowa Senator Joni Ernst Will Arrest Entire Obama Administration, For Democracy

Joni Ernst is the lovely and super charming state senator from Iowa who would like to be the real senator from Iowa. Likes include castrating pigs and warning about the Eeeevil Agenda 21 plot to seize your farms and make you live in, ugh, "Urban Centers." As if those were not reason enough to let her join the world's most exclusive club of decision makers, she will also arrest the entire federal government for you, America.

In response to an Iowa State Legislative Candidates survey in 2012, Porcine Ball Slicer Ernst answered this definitely not crazytown question in the affirmative (for you dumb-as-dirt Ernst fans out there, that means she said "yes"):

"Will you support legislation to nullify ObamaCare and authorize state and local law enforcement to arrest federal officials attempting to implement the unconstitutional health care scheme known as ObamaCare?"

We are not sure exactly how this is supposed to work. Maybe the local po-po will raid some call centers and round up all the people answering the phones to help people with questions like "Can I have the plan that allows me to death panel my grandma?" We'd ask Ernst, but we are pretty sure she doesn't know how legislation works either. In 2013, she introduced a personhood bill in the Iowa Senate, which as you probably already know because you are smarter than Ernst, would make it illegal to have an abortion, use certain types of birth control, or ejaculate into a gym sock because EVERY SPERM IS SACRED. Except that now Ernst is claiming that is totally not what she meant by that, and her Democratic opponent Sen. Bruce Braley is such a liar liar pants on fire for saying so.

“The amendment that is being referenced by the congressman would not do any of the things that you stated it would do," Ernst said. "That amendment is simply a statement that I support life.”

That's funny because when we did the Google and read Ernst's bill like the dirty liberal reading-stuff liberals we are, we discovered that nowhere in the text did it say THIS AMENDMENT IS SIMPLY A STATEMENT THAT I SUPPORT LIFE. Itdid, however, say "The inalienable right to life of every person at every stage of development shall be recognized and protected." That's fetus fetishist talk for "You cannot eventhinkabout abortion."

But since Ernst didn't understand her own bill, we're going to give her the benefit of the doubt by assuming she didn't understand the survey question either. When she said yes, she would definitely make it a law to arrest all the feds who dared to do Obamacare to anyone, she probably just meant she was making a simple statement that she supports arresting all the feds who would dare to do Obamacare to anyone. Totally reasonable. For a whackjob.

[ TPM / HuffPo ]