302 Comments
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Grumpy Twat's avatar

So all Putin needs to do is to persuade Trump to install roundabouts everywhere and, Bingo!, America's road system will be instantly paralysed.

CafeenMan2's avatar

With most bang for the buck in red states.

☘️Uncle Mark’s Lucky Charms's avatar

OMG...Where is Carly Fiorina ?!! Why wasn't she invited to this party. You know how she is just obsessed over "baby-parts."

In-Home Tooter's avatar

I fill sorry 4 all those PATRIOT'S leaving the city's. If Wile E. Coyote has taught me anything they defiantly won't be safe in the Southwest around all those cliff's and bolder's.

Feeling Groovy's avatar

I am on it! Not sure that I can match that level of artistry though.

Cornelius Fussbudget's avatar

Gullible, yes. But stupid? They'll get nothing but applause for talking about this.

This scene is playing out in VFW halls across the country. The TV blares a tinny song as a cartoon prostate dances across green grassy fields.

"Whelp, I reckon..."

(pauses to spit some chaw into a styrofoam cup)

"...I reckon those varmits better not come near this place. My buddies Smith & Wesson'll be here to meet 'em. By God."

Nods of aggreement all around. The commercial break is over, and Sean Hannity reappears to explain the coming civil war in detail.

Trip Space-Parasite's avatar

Well, if I get to play with the rocket boots...

Swampay's avatar

Oh no! You don't suppose those scary (black) antifa people got ahold of the super soldier technique they used to make Captain America do you?!?!? Horrors! A (black) Captain Not-America!?!? How will we ever survive!?!??!

azeyote's avatar

wait a minute - we have been told and are still waiting for the black hoards to invade, kill, and rape all the whites - it seems rather unfair to let a mixed bag of antifas have all the action after such a long and much anticipated wait -

Sir David Chaillou, KSW  💋's avatar

I thoat the black hoard story was a hoxe?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I heard Hillary Clinton sold the dilithium crystals to Russia.

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

That's what I'm thinking... I'll just go and get a haircut, which is close enough to a beheading for me to be going on with, I think.

Vericima's avatar

It seems at this point they believe their own bullshit though.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

It would be nice if there was some way to confirm that he wiped his ass this morning.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Pedantic alert. Sturgeon's Law is "90% of everything is dreck".

I only bring this up, Dok, because I love the word dreck, and we really don't use it enough in everyday conversation.

aureolamanita's avatar

You joke, but it is this kind of thing that kept us from putting any political paraphernalia on the cars for this past round of elections.