522 Comments
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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Marylin Monroe has nothing on the squirrel.

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Martini, I gave it all day to state the obvious because I figured SUMBUDDY would have made the joke by now... alas, I guess I gotta say it...

just a squirrel tryin' to get a nut.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Ha, yes, I anticipated somebody would make that joke (see post).

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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Oh, I thought the low hanging thing was a Matthew Whittaker squirrel toilet sort of thing.... silly me. :)

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Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

My poor dog thinks I'm laughing at her!

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superdave's avatar

That squirrel sure has some cool nuts.

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Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

"Getcha hot nuts right here!!!"

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

The Squirrel Bidet is really much larger than I might have imagined.

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Old guy named Bill (OGNB)'s avatar

"Many people are telling me that squirrels use wind power to raise their tails. Disgraceful. Really nasty. I was on a green at my club once and there was a strange black squirrel with a white stripe on its back blocking the hole. I waved my putter at it, and it raised its tail at me. It took my people a week to get that stink off me. Wind power only helps squirrels raise their tails. No more. Thank you for your attention to this matter."

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Antifa Commander's avatar

Unlike the stink of EPSTEIN, which will NEVER wear off!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

This one literally made my spit my coffee out.

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tehbaddr's avatar

"A daily shot of fresh air"

Up yer nether regions!

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

I consider it an honor to witness this squirrel as it figures out how to generate energy from wind- the founder of our future squirrel overlords has revealed themselves at last, as it was foretold. Look out for mini turbines made of sticks in the near future, the second prophecy. All hail.

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WannabeWonk's avatar

This one made me LOL. I can relate to that squirrel

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

Hooper should branch out into mocktails. Using this as inspiration I'd call it the Wee Breeze:

"A refreshing, simple cocktail made with vodka, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice, and squirrel butt juice. It's often served over an air conditioner after the squirrel gets a lime wedgie.

It's known for its tart crisp umami flavor, offering a balance of sweet and sour notes and ass. "

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littlerice vice's avatar

Let it be known! It isn't civilized if there ain't no bathtub gin!

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

Huzzah!

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The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Squirrel gif is perfect. Wish i could AC my butt.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

No one saying you can't. Works with the no pants trend.

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The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Facts! Today is unofficial pants free Friday.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Glad I wore a dress then.

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hillary's left one's avatar

Yeah but isn’t it hot air coming out of that heat exchanger?

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The Covfefes ASAP!'s avatar

Does the squirrel look uncomfortable? I imagine it's the same effect as those hot air hand dryers they put in restrooms. It drys the moisture.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

My new (7/3) AC unit runs much cooler than the old.

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Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Yes it is.

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

The fan could be on without heat exchanging going on.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Hedonistic squirrels, living secret lives of gratification and pleasure...Who knows what they're getting up to when we're not looking?

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YaJagoff's avatar

Martini, your gifs are the best.

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C&A Bongo Man's avatar

"Stop your gawking. The Epstein Files are right over there."

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Schmannity's avatar

Blow a squirrel!

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YaJagoff's avatar

Blow it up a squirrels ass.

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Chuck Lavazzi's avatar

"Gendering your beverage." Sheesh. Somehow I was not surprised to learn that this all started with some demented thing David "I'm not a fascist, really, I just hate liberals" Brooks wrote back before his dropped the domino.

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CzechJournalists's avatar

i wonder if Ro Khanna is so pro freeze peach he'd also defend nambla. weird for him to do that after standing with victims of sexual abuse as minors. also weird to hug mtg.

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Dee Nelson's avatar

I'm getting my COVID and flu vax next week at CVS. I'm under 65, but there was a handy checkbox in the online appointment form that says "I have one of the following risk factors (link)". Friend, if you check that box, no one will investigate whether you have one of those conditions. Just check the box, and enjoy the benefits of your vaccine.

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

I got my flu shot today and decided to read Wonkette now before one of the RFK hitmen showed up to haul me off to jail.

Should trans people own guns? WTF, all trans people should actively engage in self-defense up to and including gun ownership. We live in a world surrounded by hate spewed by right-wing trumpy/magas/supposed christians. I believe in gun control, but we are not getting common sense gun control in this country so long as many of the people in charge see the second amendment as more important than the rule of law.

Anyone remember the Black Panthers?(rhetorical question) In May 1971 they made a great visual and political statement about the racial divide in gun ownership when about 20-25 Panthers showed up at the California state house armed with guns. They were opposed to the gun control measures being proposed by Reagan because they believed that Black people would be subject to gun control, but White people would not. Of course, they were absolutely correct. Below is a link to a somewhat mediocre article that nonetheless contains the basic facts. Plus this primo quote from J. Edgar Hoover that succinctly lays out the racial divide on gun ownership.

"The demonstration drew the attention of the FBI. J. Edgar Hoover wanted to be sure “black nationalist hate groups”were scrutinized."

https://capitolweekly.net/black-panthers-armed-capitol/

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beb's avatar

There are maybe a half a dozen Democrats in Congress worth a damn. The rest can go to hell.

"Democratic leaders are said to be conditioning support for a budget vote on … extending Obamacare subsidies just until after the midterm elections."

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

Amazon has changed their Kindle book pages again and I no longer can simply enter the title of a book, find it, and buy it, something I've been doing for 14 years. 14 years. I did find a way but it requires joining Amazon Prime: over my dead body.

My 46-y.o. neighbor told me that Trump policies are making his son's future brighter.

I have lost; "they" have won.

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Dee Nelson's avatar

May I suggest bookshop.org/ebooks? They don't have as nice a reader app, but it's serviceable, but you don't have to give Bezos and his mannequin wife any more money.

Difficulty: They don't have as wide a selection of books.

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

Even if I owned a smart phone, which I don't, I wouldn't read a book on it. My original Kindle reader has been perfect for my needs for 14 years. Anything else is too complicated. Simplify, simplify.

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Ron Spangler's avatar

Americans hate Congress, but love their own Congressperson. We're so close to getting it. Until we do, nothing's going to change, and certainly the Democratic Party won't. I'm represented by Katherine Clark. I would absolutely pull the lever for a credible challenger.

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Karen Scofield's avatar

TGIF🐿️ Tab's and Coffee in the Morning ☕💯👍

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

A friend sent me something this morning, but it was a facebook post and I have deactivated my facebook, so I couldn't see it. I asked her to tell me what it was.

A choir of grey-haired old ladies singing "Jesus loves me, this I know. Release the Epstein file you lying ho"

And then she said "That could be us!" I died laughing.

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Invading New Orleans just in time for hurricane season. Genius. Stable genius.

Insert gif of recalcitrant mule here.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

"How about we stop being fucking idiots? Would that be good?" Yes it would but otoh we got a sternly worded letter and a statement of strong opprobrium coming from Schumer so we got that going for us...

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House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

That honeymoon post, which includes Namibia as a destination, reminded me of the live cam in the Namibian desert, which is an artificial watering hole. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydYDqZQpim8)

Anyway, I thought it was some sort of conservation/environment/save the animals thing, which it may be, but more it was literally created for the tourist industry. That Luke Skywalker hotel which is in the Tatooine farm set is like 10 miles away, and the place is a fairly built-up tourist district. I found it on g-maps and when you zoom out you can see how built up the area actually is, all with tourist stuff. (And more power to them)

Anyway, doesn't make the live cam any less worth watching (I've seen giraffes, lions, buffalo, elephants, zebra, ostrich, and more, in real time, it's very cool). Just kinda interesting. (There's nothing there rn sadly)

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pskbh's avatar

Very cool.

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paxpax's avatar

So cool. Saving. Did just see some birds stop by.

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el duderino's avatar

You could inflict serious injuries on an ICE agent with a po boy

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

I would suggest that might be a waste of a good po boy, but would it be?

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

Yes; substitute canned clams instead.

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Still in the can!

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

“Should trans people be allowed to own guns?” is just the most fucked up question that Trump’s DOJ is now just asking.

ADVISORY: This is a test-case/first-run at the concept of taking away guns from people you don't like. Which, of course, ultimately means YOU.

Need it expressed more simply? OK:

If they can take away guns from trans people, they can take away guns from anyone. And they WILL.

Anyone who doesn't believe today's GOP are the modern-day Nazis is simply not paying attention, in denial, or ignorant.

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Erin's avatar

Real men don't drink lattes. Real men drink nails. With crushed glass on top, if it's a special occasion.

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WannabeWonk's avatar

With gusto

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