Genius Gun Guy Wishes Django Unchained Were Real

Welcome to Wonkette. Whether you're just joining us or are a long-time fan, you're probably noticing that we have to cover gun violence and general gun stupidity ALL THE TIME NOW. So that's fun. Actually, that is not fun. It is skull-crushingly depressing. We explained this to our Editrix and she agreed, noting that it is for precisely that reason that yr Wonkette (sans Editrix) must write these pieces instead of her. So, with heavy heart and dragging feet, we bring you today's bit of gun stupidity, which is really pretty breathtaking:  

When confronted with the fact that Gun Appreciation Day coincides with the celebration of civil rights icon Martin Luther King, Jr, who was assassinated with a gun, Ward insisted that his event “honors the legacy of Dr. King.” Ward didn’t stop there; he argued that if African slaves had been armed, they would have been able to prevent slavery from ever happening:

WARD: I think Martin Luther King, Jr. would agree with me if he were alive today thatif African Americans had been given the right to keep and bear arms from day one of the country’s founding, perhaps slavery might not have been a chapter in our history.

Good christ. Yesterday we had to endure Ted Nugent explaining that gun owners were just like Rosa Parks because if people came to take their guns away they'd shoot everyone and that is totally like peaceful civil disobedience. Now we have some other less-famous nutjob gunsplaining that MLK would have TOTALLY LOVED GUNS YOU GUYS except for that part where he only ever engaged in civil disobedience and was murdered by someone with a gun.

We don't even know how to explain the epic awfulness that is the notion that had we simply allowed slaves to be armed, there would have been no slavery. Logic is not our strong suit here at Wonkette, but it seems to be more accurate to note that if we had simply NOT HAD WHITE PEOPLE FUCKING OWNING BLACK PEOPLE there would have been no slavery. Slaves were likely not spending time wishing for the full panoply of Second Amendment rights because they were busy wishing that they weren't stuck living in a country that didn't actually consider them human.

Perhaps the 1960s icons the guns uber alles crowd should really be loving on are the Black Panthers, who did indeed dig guns. History reminds us, however, that back when black people loved guns, white people with guns decided they were super into gun control:  

Don Mulford, a conservative Republican state assemblyman from Alameda County, which includes Oakland, was determined to end the Panthers’ police patrols. To disarm the Panthers, he proposed a law that would prohibit the carrying of a loaded weapon in any California city...

Republicans in California eagerly supported increased gun control. Governor Reagan told reporters that afternoon that he saw “no reason why on the street today a citizen should be carrying loaded weapons.” He called guns a “ridiculous way to solve problems that have to be solved among people of good will.”

Reagan said that -- and he hadn't even been shot with a gun yet!

So, to sum up gun nut thinking: spend tons of time fantasizing about past peaceful protesters becoming gun-carrying vigilantes who would totally support your guns errrrywhere campaign, but please ignore the fact that when SCARY BLACK MEN actually acquire guns, you pretty much shit your pants.

In fact, maybe there is even a more recent example?

Whoomp, there it is.

[ Think Progress ]