15 Comments

I have spent a modest fraction (like 0.0001%) of my life explaining to people what a "Dachs" is, and what full-size Dachshunds were bred for. I've never seen one at work. I assume they rely on quickness, like mongooses -- I mean, have you ever seen a fucking badger? I wouldn't go up against a badger with anything less than gelignite. I'd prefer an artillery strike.

And they're such sweet doggies, as long as you are not a badger.

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<i>“prior to that evening, the officers believed the bushes” were too thick to pass through.</i>

There’s a way this could be more pathetic but it’s not coming immediately to mind.

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And demand better work, but not a plugged nickel in extra money to pay for it.

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Maybe they should hire the guy that New Pope just sacked.

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They weighed that against the other suggestion of 'hire more Columbian prostitutes.'

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Funny, hedgerows worked for the Germans in Normandy...

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"We thought the banana peels we put out would be slipperier. It is unclear if the anvil would have performed properly, since the intruder didn't even try the birdseed"

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"Other Easily Penetrable Bushes"

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It's been 5 minutes and I'm still laughing at this! I keep getting a mental picture of the "Acme Seekrit Service Supply Catalog".

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As a dachshund owner, I'm fully supportive of swapping out SS agents and replacing them with these four fine quadrupeds. I guarantee that no intruders will make it even close to the house without being thoroughly barked and ankle-bitten.

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And not too expensive.

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"Improve the President's security by DOING YOUR FUCKING JOBS".

Oh. sorry.

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Isn't the shrubbery more like a bribe?

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Of course they're going to have another investigatory panel,

They're Republicans in the majority.

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Barberry, you say? How is it with deer? Actually, I can look that up, never mind.

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