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George Zimmerman Opposes Racist Hate Crimes Now, Hooray!
He thinks good
You have probably been wondering, ever since the horrible news broke yesterday, "Say! What does unemployable child-killer George Zimmerman think about the unspeakable killings of two young television journalists in Virginia? I am looking forward to his insights!" Happily, Mr. Zimmerman obliged a world that was waiting for his opinions on the matter, and took to the Tweetosphere, that we might all drink deeply of his wisdom. You will be astonished to learn that Mr. Zimmerman seems to have noticed that the murderer was black and also gay, which are really the only two facts that anyone needs to know. Oh, and also Barack Obama apparently approved of the murders, if he didn't order them himself.
We checked, and as it turned out, President Obama actually did say that the murders were a bad thing. Then again, while he expressed sympathy for the victims' families and said the news "breaks my heart," he did completely fail to condemn the killer for being a black gay person who had it in for white people, so we suppose Obama really did miss the point.
Now, a cynic might almost be forgiven for getting the impression that this was mostly a ploy for media attention by the defective collection of humanlike parts legally designated as George Zimmerman. But let's test the proposition that Mr. Zimmerman is merely seeking to advance the public dialogue, so that we may better understand the significance of this horrifying event:
Ah! So it was a matter of timing! Shame on that divider. He was probably off inciting thugs somewhere. As it happens, Obama was addressing the murders at about the same time Zimmerman was complaining, but he didn't say the right thing about them at all, suggesting that somehow shooting people was a bad thing, when in fact black pansies shooting white people is what is bad. Zimmerman was particularly incensed by Barack Obama's traitorous use of math; the President had said, "the number of people who die from gun-related incidents around this country dwarfs any deaths that happen through terrorism," which may be numerically true, but also is only the sort of thing that would be said by an animal of some sort. Probably a racist animal, according to Zimmerman:
Damn, why is that Barack Obama such a racist baboon? Of course, Mr. Zimmerman wasn't the only rightwing hero who's had a several brushes with the criminal justice system to comment on the killings. Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza also had some witticisms to share, which we are certain expose liberal hypocrisy somehow:
Mr. Zimmerman continued his trenchant analysis of the President's obvious approval of the Virginia shootings Thursday, with this witty riposte to a thing Barack Obama said one time:
Yr Wonkette will monitor the Zimmerman situation as it develops, and we promise to let you know the minute that Donald Trump chooses him as his running mate.