Who’s off next week? I’m off next week, suckers, and some of you I will see in Hawaii and Hawaii!
First up, Big Island! Meet us at the Kaleo’s in Pahoa, 15-2969 Pahoa Village Road, on Thurs., May 14, from say 5 to 8 p.m. Do you need money to join us? No. Wonkparties are always free (though sometimes they’re potluck), and MAMA’S ALWAYS BUYIN’. Then: Oahu! Fri., May 15, say 7-9! See you at Hula’s Bar and Lei Stand (heh) in Honolulu, 134 Kapahulu Ave., 2nd Floor of the Waikiki Grand Hotel. Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind!
Very congratulations on your incredibly deserved Pulitzer, Julie K. Brown! But Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez has a great question: Why does nobody care that the New Mexico US Attorney was literally Epstein’s power of attorney? Shouldn’t somebody besides Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez be wondering about that? (The Pugilist)
No, Joe Biden didn’t 86 (that means murder most foul) Spirit Airlines like a common Gen Z murdering whatever they’ve been murdering lately. Nor did he 86 the 13,000 flights that got canceled just in May! (The Fucking News)
Hey, is it good to gerrymander everything to shit if it means Democrats might have a slight permanent edge? No! It’s not! But we have to do it for now anyway. (Cassidy Steele Dale forgot that part.)
“A simulator that shows how easy it is to turn a 55-45 state into an 80 percent one party state”? Didn’t Ohio and Wisconsin do that already? (G. Elliott Morris)
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Why does the DOJ raid of Virginia state Senator Louise Lucas and her cannabis shop (whee!! :D ) stink? Besides the obvious reasons that it’s this DOJ? Here’s some ways! (Status Kuo)
Scientists say The Algorithm brought us Trump again. (Thom Hartmann)
Some MAGA douche did $89 million of Medicare fraud (no, it wasn’t Rick Scott this time) and got convicted and now they all want him pardoned so he never has to pay the money back on top of everything else, I guess? That does sound like them! (The Bulwark)
LOL the Pope and Marco Rubio: “Wow, okay.” (Letters From Leo)
Not LOL: Deadbeat parents should pay the fuck up, but “revoking their US passports” seems very WHAT THE FUCK YIKES, MARCO RUBIO. (AP)
If you know a pregnant lady who’s an idiot and considering not giving her baby any shots, please give her this Pro Publica about giving her newborn the Vitamin K. (Pro Publica)
This is just a very crazy crime video! The woman introduces herself (by full name) and then explains with her hand over her heart no, this is a robbery, and then does what the quick-witted clerk tells her. I mean it’s funny but not funny because very obviously there is something wrong with the lady’s brain, either drugs or illness or mental disability or … does anybody else think she might literally be asleep, like on Ambien or something? Anyway, it is certainly interesting though! (WV Metro News)
Oh it turns out dolphins aren’t always saving hoomans from sharks and drowning? Well then, I lied to the girls. (Aeon)
“Your president is accused of being a rapist and eating babies, and yet here you are arguing about a club.” I mean, he probably hasn’t eaten babies, probably. (Fodor’s)
Undamming rivers is one of my Oklahoma hippie cousin Tom’s (you all would LOVE my Oklahoma hippie cousin Tom, man is he the best!) biggest causes, so here is a New York Times gift link about our steadily undamming rivers and what they’re doing for the health of the e-col-o-gy! Serious question though, what does that mean for hydroelectricity, don’t we need that? I don’t know, maybe the article mentions it, I haven’t read it. I’M BUSY OK. (NYT)
Join your friend ZiggyWiggy Saturday night at 9 eastern for Wonkette Movie Night! This week you are watching The Jerk — it still slaps! — available for free on OK RU; free on the Internet Archive (go to number 37 on the list, FF to 2:56); $3.99 in the usual places.
WONK PARTIES AHOY!
HAWAII (May 14), HAWAII (May 15), MONTREAL (June 14), MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8), PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), AND SAN FRAN (Nov. 30): TIME TO PARTY!
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Have a good weekend!
Ta, Rebecca. Ta, Martini. Happy 100th birthday, David Attenborough! Adored and adorable husband Meccalopolis served us flowery green tea, scrumptious fruit bowls, toasted bagel with vegan cream cheese (no avocado in the house), and excellent coffee we're sipping now. My hero! Good day, beloved Wonketteers. We love and appreciate you all and we bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.
Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot six months after your last (done!) and catch up on any other vaccines you need (and if there are children in your life, make sure they're vaccinated also, too), avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from us and anyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because we love you, too. Do this in memory of 27 Club member Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, among nearly eight million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel (we adore you, all medicos of Wonkette, active and retired), especially ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark, RN. Stay safe.
Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛