75 Comments
User's avatar
Metadude's avatar

I am finding this really hard to masturbate to.

Extemporanus's avatar

I suppose that probably would be more convenient than marrying and knocking up the proprietor of a political poop joke blog in order to gain access to a maternity ward private bathroom.

OneDemin EOr's avatar

Looking good, Daddy Shy. Check in again in about six weeks of sleep deprivation, courtesy of our New Overlordess ("overlady" sounds a mite genteel for the powerful Miss Donna Rose ).

OneDemin EOr's avatar

Well 'tis true it takes one gallon to grow one almond, and farmers were planting them up to a month ago. Since Oregon's also in drought, they shouldn't bother looking up here.

OneDemin EOr's avatar

I thought that was Brazilian fart porn!

ButchWagstaff's avatar

It seems like everybody's having a baby this June. The Wonkette Editrix, three of my Wagstaff cousins, Benedict Cumberbatch...and that's just within the last WEEK.

IndianaKevin's avatar

You can have any color you want, as long as it’s “black.”

Black is the new ...

Vienna Woods's avatar

Backwards, yes, but forwards, no. My father, for instance- 4 girls no boys. His male line broke right there.

actor212's avatar

So having impregnated the queen, the drone is now being sold off in a package with a T shirt?

actor212's avatar

He wasn't nearly as funny as Joel, sorry.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

You can't get a better Darwin Award candidate than that.

Also, to nobody's great surprise, "Police say Cooper had been drinking beer."

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

I actually use "whatthefuckismypassword?" as a password for a couple of sites.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Crap . . . why didn't I think of that?-Shypixel