359 Comments
User's avatar
Michael's avatar

Q: Why do anteaters never get sick?

A: Because they're full of ant-i-bodies!!

M'Hael's avatar

Damn. It's amazing how something so small, cute, and squishy can manage to turn into such a filthy, foul, disgusting creature such as the anteater. 😉

(IYKYK)

A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

Is it somehow weird to see that gif and think,

“Duuuh duh.

Duuuh duh.”

Anteater Jaws.

Antifa Commander's avatar

“Jaws?”

Not “Tongue?”

A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

Wouldn’t carry the same weight. Though greater length, I suppose.

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

I often want to pet anteaters, because they are just so appealing - and they eat ants which are the bane of my existence.

However, I would be very careful, because they can't see very well, and have GIANT SHARP CLAWS. I can *imagine* petting them, though, and the one in the gif is particularly cute.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

What a pretty creature. I was thinking, although it would have been highly untraditional, it would have been funny if just this once, it would have said “ANTS” instead of “TABS”.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

Brilliant, why didn't I think of that?!

Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Silky anteater's got the zoomies!

JCfromNC's avatar

Fuzzy-wuzzy!

Ron Spangler's avatar

Anteaters always make me swoon over the wonder that is natural selection.

Menotsure's avatar

Little Mom anteaters

Put their kid's head's in a spin

I can hear them gripe at breakfast

"Mommm, not ants again!

The Wanderer's avatar

"I'm Chirpy, the Mutant Hellbeast. Go away."

eppe's avatar

I'm tempted to infest the house with ants just as an excuse to adopt one.

kmblue187's avatar

That ain't no racing stripe.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

Oh god I'm dying of old age waiting for it to do a thing!

Martini Glambassador's avatar

While you briefly looked away, it kissed yo mama! Full on the lips.

Larry Schmitt's avatar

So he eats only the silky ants? None of that rough trade.

The Wanderer's avatar

(imagines little ants in leather gear)

Uncle Betamax's avatar

It wears a cravat.

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

Cute little critter!

The Wanderer's avatar

He gets all the pets today!

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Are those members of the house oversight committee in the epstein files? Are they allowed to keep looking at the files on that one computer in some room? That wow thing feel off the radar.

Michael's avatar

Meanwhile in our forever war.. Iran is winning against the strongest (or at least the most expensive) military force in world history. Never discount homefield advantage:

https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/23/middleeast/iran-war-standoff-analysis-intl

John_atx's avatar

Today I learned that current Goodyear blimps are not blimps. They are semi rigid airships made by ZLT Zeppelin Luftschifftechnik GmbH. Goodyear still calls them the Goodyear Blimp. Easier than calling them the Goodyear Semi Rigid Airship, I guess.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Health update: The doctor whose diagnosis two weeks ago consisted of the word "odd" has now reviewed all my labs and scans and called to clear me of anything to worry about. He again said, "odd" before hanging up.

Michael's avatar

That's great news, OYR. But the word does seem weird.

oldmechanician's avatar

Perhaps you are unique, distinguished.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

In other words, "Odd."

GiggleSnort's avatar

I'm in Lee County, Florida. Presumably named after the traitor general. It is a little disconcerting to contemplate how many people down here probably think I am an evil person who is going to Hell.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

For any of you who read French, the French book to be reading right now is apparently Johann Chapoutot's "Les Irresponsables," about the Volks who facilitated Hitler's rise to power.

Apparently it's resonating with a LOT of people right now.

oblivias's avatar

I read French...slowly. I may give it a go. If I lose patience, I can get a translation.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

And you have easy access to good French bookstores!

I have found that my library links to an online edition, but I'm having a bit of trouble getting access to it.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

I know the world won't break out into the song "Brand New Day" like we're in The Wiz, but that would be super cool. Mostly because I think it'll be something we'll be lied to about for as long as they can.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Saw something yesterday I have never seen in my nearly 30 years of living in this San Francisco neighborhood:

a campaign poster in an apartment window for a Republican (Tom Steyer, who's runnnig for Governor on the "Please pretend I'm not MAGA even though I'm still a Republican" platform).

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Can't stay long this morning. Have to go get blood drawn. It's a 12 hour fasting blood draw, so I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything but water this morning. I'm missing my coffee.

oldmechanician's avatar

Don't you hate it when that happens? Nice when it's over though.

Suki van Dijk's avatar

Do I feel dumb when I say please and thank you to Siri? Sure. But a little less so now. Thanks Wonkette!

Tetman Callis's avatar

If you're ever wondering if I actually read the things I quote from in The Commonplace Book, well, yes, of course I do.

A couple days ago I was (re-)reading Shakespeare's 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘭𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘢, and came across a passage that hadn't previously caught my eye. Shakespeare's good for that; his writing is often so dense, new treasures will appear that you hadn't seen before.

There truly is a Bill for every particular. Here is the passage:

“When one so great begins to rage, he’s hunted even to falling. Give him no breath, but now make boot of his distraction:—never anger made good guard for itself.” – William Shakespeare, 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘭𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘢, 4.1

Skunk Formerly Known As Stoner's avatar

“No living ex-President should attend his funeral.” But they should line up to piss on his grave.

Pope Buck I's avatar

They should get in early. It's gonna be a real long line.

Ellen_D, domestic terrorist's avatar

“A 2022 study found that children in households that used voice commands with tools like Siri and Alexa became curt when speaking with humans, often calling out “Hey, do X” and expecting obedience, especially from anyone whose voice resembled the default-female electronic voices.“

I am old and my job requires me sometimes to answer customer emails and suddenly the way some people practically bark commands at me makes a whole lot more sense. It’s still infuriating and degrading as hell, though.

Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Training children to be extremely demanding, entitled, and dictatorial whenever they speak to a female is the worst idea I've heard in a while, even in the Trump era.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Also, I've learned to respond to AI and actual phone solicitations (several, daily) with increasingly rude accusations...

Cheers Y'all's avatar

Bestie has been visiting from NYC, we walk at the Nature Preserve / Dog Park early every morning. The other day there were several gray and white herons fishing for their breakfast:

https://substack.com/profile/41005794-cheers-yall/note/c-248450033?r=oew9u&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web