Ghosts In The Machine. Tabs, Fri., April 24, 2026
Morning news roundup and things to read!
“Everybody in the world will be late for work that morning and no one will care.” :) :) :) (Cassidy Steele Dale)
Prefer a non-Substack subscription? The button below will take any amount of your choosing at Paypal — let me know if you want the newsletter subscription too! Paypal won’t automatically sign you up for the newsletter! — or we have a Patreon too.
Trump saved eight AI Iranian women from getting executed, so … yay? (Tiedrich)
The Republican members of the House Oversight Committee think Trump should pardon Ghislaine Maxwell because obviously. (Politico)
Senate Republicans passed ICE and Border Patrol funding early Thursday morning and honestly I can’t remember why they are able to do it now that they weren’t able to do it before because apparently it’s unfilibusterible. Haha, that’ll be hilarious if they can’t get the House to go along, but anyway, unironic GOOD JOB to Chuck Schumer, who made it fucking painful for them and didn’t back down for MONTHS. (AP)
Another ICE (or CBP, same thing) agent charged, this time in Durango, Colorado, for being a shithead doing assaults? I like this new trend. (CNN)
Democrats playing hardball should move on to the Supreme Court. (Paul Waldman at the Cross Section)
Man these guys love to brag about their evil plans! Curtis Yarvin: “What’s cool is that I don’t really see a strong legal case that the SPLC shouldn’t be able to run these kinds of wacky black ops. That means DOJ is prosecuting the SPLC just because it (kind of) can. If so this would be an unusual sign of “finally getting it.”” (Melissa Ryan) Our Liz on the legality of the DOJ indictment; succinctly, it is “crap.” (Our Liz at Public Notice)
“We’ll never use this agency to censor scientists who disagree,” lied Jay Bhattacharya of the NIH. (Science Based Medicine)
I am always polite to my robot slave, and you should be too.
A 2022 study found that children in households that used voice commands with tools like Siri and Alexa became curt when speaking with humans, often calling out “Hey, do X” and expecting obedience, especially from anyone whose voice resembled the default-female electronic voices.
“Despite MAGA fans making him rich, he still looks down on them, calling them ‘super-dumb.’” Almost as dumb as you are, New York Post, to somehow think those things would be mutually exclusive. (NYP)
These brain ghosties gave me shivers. Yow! (Live Science)
Join your friend ZiggyWiggy for Wonkette Movie Night, Saturday at 9 Eastern. You’ll be watching Hail, Caesar! It is available with subscription on Prime; free with ads on Xumo Play; $3.99 in the usual places.
HAWAII, HAWAII, MONTREAL, MISSOULA, CLEVELAND, PITTSBURGH, AND SAN FRAN: GET ON THE BUS!
Do-Do-Do-DOOOO! Announcing The 2026 Wonkette Friends And Family (That’s You, Dummies) Tour For 2026!
Have you sent Wonkette to a friend today?
Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent.
This is the button for giving us all your extra money (ONLY IF IT IS EXTRA) but with Venmo.




A hed gif featuring a silky anteater. I just want to pat him! https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/silky-anteater-is-slow-and-steady
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/e376d5a5-6b9e-4413-83ac-f28331f6b3dd?utm_source=share
Using Trump math, I will now explain how saved 800% of Iran’s women. (It’s because each is 100% fabricated, multiplied by 8).