Gitmo Uses Skinny Puppy's Music To Interrogate Prisoners, Because Nickleback Considered Cruel & Unusual

You know what sucks? And no, you can’t say ‘the modern GOP,’ because that’s just plain obvious. What sucks is the government taking your music, that you labored over for many minutes, hours, days, and/or months, and using it to literally torture people. Or maybe not torture in the strict legal sense of the word, but it would totally suck if your music was blared for hours on end to, say, Gitmo prisoners, in order to intentionally cause them pain.

Well, that’s exactly what happened to Canadian industrial rock band Skinny Puppy, according to CTV News:  

The band says its music has been played at Gitmo in the interrogation of detainees, and is now demanding $666,000 in compensation.

That’s right -- time to GET PAID, BITCHEZ. Let’s sexplore who these skinny puppies are, and how the hell they found out that their music was being used in interrogations.

Never heard of Skinny Puppy? Well, that video up there is one of their musical endeavors. Go give it a listen.

Not this wonker’s cup o tea, but Editrix notes that her “metal friends were super into them in high school,” so we know that this band has been around for a little while (but not too long because we are not implying that the Editrix is old at all and please don’t fire us. #SaveDDM).

Anyway, WTF Defense Department? You can’t just use their music for an official purpose and not compensate the band! That is not what American Capitalism^TMis all about, with the Free Market which was instituted by Jesus himself 6,000 years ago at the creation of the world. And don't say that American Capitalism^TMdoesn't apply to Canadians, because we all know that Canada is not really a country but just a 51st state-in-waiting.

Cevin Key, the band’s keyboardist said, "band members were 'offended' to learn that their music was played in the notorious prison to 'inflict damage' on detainees."

Totally! And Key goes on to note that perhaps everyone is not a huge fan, but come on – it is not literally torture on anyone’s ears!

Key said that while the band’s music could be “a terrible nightmare” for some listeners, to others, “it’s a creative artistic endeavour that plays with dark writings and dark cinema.”

How did the band even find out that their music was being used? Turns out one of the Gitmo guards is a big fan (a former classmate of Editrix, perhaps?), and let the Skinny Puppy folks know that their music was being used for less-than-honorable purposes. And at first, the band was just gonna try to poke fun at the Defense Department, but then got wise:

Cevin Key, the band’s keyboardist, says the band at first planned to design an album cover based on an invoice for the U.S. government, rather than sending a physical invoice. But after learning that the government had allegedly used their music without permission, Key says the band was told it could bring a suit against the Department of Defense.

“We sent them an invoice for our musical services considering they had gone ahead and used our music without our knowledge and used it as an actual weapon against somebody,” Key told CTV’s Kevin Newman Live.

Haha. That album cover would be kinda awesome. We still think they should do it. And we agree that using someone’s stuff as a weapon is not cool, man.

However, the military denies having received an invoice at all, according to Politico:  

“The department is not in receipt of any sort of invoice as suggested by all the circular reporting on this topic in the press. I’m not even sure how, functionally, such a process of billing based on a hunch might work,” DoD spokesman Lt. Col. J. Todd Breasseale told POLITICO in an email.

We have an idea about how it would work. Investigate as to whether the military used Skinny Puppy music without their permission. If so, pay them money, because you can’t just use other people’s stuff for free.

Problem. Solved.

[ CTV News / Politico ]

Follow DDM on Twitter ( @Wonksplainer ), where he peacefully listens to Indigo Girls all day.