17 Comments
User's avatar
Bezoar's avatar

It's as if Geraldo Rivera were on his 15th Al Capone treasure vault.

Bezoar's avatar

Not to mention inventing radio.

bobbert's avatar

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

-- Don Merideth

Jared James's avatar

Trick question: everything involves buying gold, including not being surprised.

Joshua Norton's avatar

Sorry Dok, but you can't make the things Beck says any funnier than what he actually says himself. Nothing against you, but it's just not possible.

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

Does the new country have no Republicans? 'Cause that would be a pretty cool new country. Kinda like Canada with black and brown people.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

"I caught a little Beck a couple or three weeks ago"

You don't need to use euphemisms for STDs around Wonkete, we're an understanding bunch!

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

I know! He's going to announce "how to make idiots wait in anticipation"

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

"What's the fascination with this? "

Apologies to your sister...

This end-time bullshit allows believers to turn away from real, solvable problems here because 1. It won't matter because, natch...the end-times. It's sort of like pissing in the corner of a building that's about to be demolished. 2. Focusing on real, solvable problems here means less time earning valuable points that will let the average JH upgrade from "Other Sheep" to the "Elect".

Vienna Woods's avatar

<a href="http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=ebexx89yohE" target="_blank">Jon Stewart LIBEL!!!</a>

Ikimizi's avatar

When? When are you going to make this comment of which you speak? I must know!

Ikimizi's avatar

Sheez. I caught a little Beck a couple or three weeks ago, and he was saying pretty much the exact same thing. Somehow I doubt there's a wolf coming this time either.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

This time he's going to confess that he's a shameless attention whore with severe mental illness? That is the one thing I'd find truly unexpected and completely believable.

schmannity's avatar

I know! Ted Cruz is the antichrist. I read it on the intertubes.

Joshua Norton's avatar

And who is this marvelous oracle who departs well-known but somehow unknown "facts" to all these wingnut conspiracy theorists?

And, no, any voices coming from inside your head don't count.

Joshua Norton's avatar

<i>It is ‘yep, your country is done; meet the new one.</i>

If it's the whack-a-loon Fundy announcement that California was going to face the wrath of God and be destroyed by a 9.4 earthquake on October 3, that ship has sailed - and we're still here.