Glenn Beck has the solution to the Ebola panic: Make fun of stupid Africans who don't have the sense not to play around with infected bodily fluids! Which is why he made him a song about it, complete with music video: We do have to admit that couplets like “Keep away from eyes that bleed/Don’t lick vomit off the street” and “And if you want to calm your fear/put down that glass of diarrhea” have a certain appeal to our inner 12-year-old. Dare we say it, were they not from Glenn Beck, we'd be jealous a little.
Tell her there's an anti-Ebola vaccine available. I'd like to think it would keep her up at night, but she sounds like the type who makes a flash decision ("The vaccine is a gub'mint plot!") and stops thinking entirely.
So let's seal off the borders...of Texas.* If it's here, then people here shouldn't be going anywhere per the wingnuttosphere. As 70% of the wingnuttosphere lives in Texas, they might find it inconvenient that they can't leave the state to go a NASCAR race, or to see Uncle Bubba in Oklahoma.
Why stop with a travel ban? Let's just tear up every runway big enough to accomodate an intercontinental flight, mine every harbor and blow up every highway crossing in and out of the country.
Sure, the entire economy will collapse. But we'll be safe!
<a href="http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/humor\/borowitz-report\/man-infected-ebola-misinformation-casual-contact-cable-news" target="_blank">Man Infected with Ebola Misinformation Through Casual Contact With Cable News </a>
More of them could get elected. Retiring outside of the US is a serious option - I don&#039;t want to live in a place where those fuckwads have real power.
Tell her there&#039;s an anti-Ebola vaccine available. I&#039;d like to think it would keep her up at night, but she sounds like the type who makes a flash decision (&quot;The vaccine is a gub&#039;mint plot!&quot;) and stops thinking entirely.
Maybe the CDC can fund their operations by selling gold coins to the wingtards, for a tad less than Beck&#039;s spamvertisers do.
So let&#039;s seal off the borders...of Texas.* If it&#039;s here, then people here shouldn&#039;t be going anywhere per the wingnuttosphere. As 70% of the wingnuttosphere lives in Texas, they might find it inconvenient that they can&#039;t leave the state to go a NASCAR race, or to see Uncle Bubba in Oklahoma.
*Also known as Glennbeckistan
One makes you so nauseous and sick that you think Death cannot come soon enough. The other one is ebola.
Just one more thing he still hasn&#039;t answered for.
Thanks Ebolabama!
Build the damn wall! (All 20,000 miles of it!)
Wait - this isn&#039;t another commercial to peddle gold?
I&#039;m confused. Is this becoming Ebolagate or Ebolaghazi?
Why stop with a travel ban? Let&#039;s just tear up every runway big enough to accomodate an intercontinental flight, mine every harbor and blow up every highway crossing in and out of the country.
Sure, the entire economy will collapse. But we&#039;ll be safe!
Conservatives: You are absolutely right. Ebola will be airborne any minute. Your only hope is to not breathe until it&#039;s over.
if only we could get Beck to cut back on the verbal diarrhea...
Isn&#039;t listening to them torture enough? How could it possibly get worse?
<a href="http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/humor\/borowitz-report\/man-infected-ebola-misinformation-casual-contact-cable-news" target="_blank">Man Infected with Ebola Misinformation Through Casual Contact With Cable News </a>
Every now and then, Borowitz nails it.
&quot;Wingnuts&quot; and &quot;well thought out plan&quot; rarely belong in the same sentence.
More of them could get elected. Retiring outside of the US is a serious option - I don&#039;t want to live in a place where those fuckwads have real power.