Glenn Beck's AI George Washington Boner Robot. Tabs, Tues., Dec. 9, 2025
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Hey it’s tabs, here they are.
Zohran Mamdani isn’t even officially the mayor of New York yet, but he’s already leading by helping New Yorkers understand what to do in the face of Donald Trump’s immigration Nazis and terrorists.
The amoral garbage that works at the Rupert Murdoch corporation is responding to that by doing that incestuous thing it does where it uses its own organs to create “controversy,” and then the same organs report on said “controversy,” the one they themselves created, over Mamdani’s message. New York Governor Kathy Hochul’s response to that? Fuck off, Mamdani’s message is great. [New York Post]
They’re using the same torture techniques — or did at “Alligator Alcatraz” — that they’ve used at CIA black sites, because this isn’t about immigration, this is about white supremacy, terrorism and Nazism. [Spencer Ackerman]
And have you heard they’re starting to pull people out of citizenship ceremonies because they’re not from the “right” countries? Because they’re fucking white supremacists and Nazis. [GBH]
Speaking of Nazis, sounds like Stephen Miller is the one leading the charge to get Kristi Noem shitcanned from DHS. Maybe her Glamour Shots are getting in the way of moving along the road toward whatever his Final Solution is, dunno. [MS NOW]
Speaking of Stephen Miller, here is his anal wart of a wife whining to Sean Hannity that Ilhan Omar is trying to get Stephen KILLED when she accurately talks about how much he sounds like a Nazi.
It’s weird, because it almost seems like she is inciting hatred (and knowing MAGA, obviously death threats aren’t far behind) against Omar by lying and saying Omar is trying to get her husband killed. Is there a German word for what Katie Miller is doing there? There is probably a German word for what Katie Miller is doing there.
Alina Habba had to resign as US attorney in New Jersey yesterday, since she is a fucking idiot who isn’t qualified to prosecute shit about fuck. Don’t worry, though, because Pam Bondi created a title for her where she’s responsible for clapping together the erasers and washing the chalkboard and when Bondi goes out to smoke or take a raging dump, Bondi is “in charge” of the whole class. Or something. [New York Times]
Habba’s statement on this is hilarious.
Here is a video of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. where he isn’t even talking about doing any felching — thank God — but surprise, he is doing pullups (again), this time in the middle of an airport with the prissy one from The Real World. Shocker, both of their pullups are better than Pete Hegseth’s pullups. (RFK’s are only barely better. Duffy’s are not entirely shitty.) Anyway, these morons’ new idea for Make America Healthy again is pullup bars for airports. All of these people are so motherfuckin’ weird. Also Kennedy said something weird and gross about breastmilk, at the airport, at the press conference where he did pull-ups, at the airport, with the guy from The Real World. [Washington Post]
Donald Trump reportedly thinks Michael Flynn is a “fucking loser,” which has the benefit of being true. [Daily Beast archive link]
Timothy Snyder says Trump’s autumn of 2025 is quite a lot like Hitler’s autumn of 1938. So what will America’s Hitler do next? [Thinking About …]
Jasmine Crockett is running for Senate, and her announcement video is oh please just watch it.
So this’ll be an interesting primary! James Talarico is in, Jasmine Crockett is in, Colin Allred is out … look forward to watching to see what happens!
Confused about what’s going on with Netflix’s attempted buyout of Warner Brothers, and the new hostile takeover bid from the Trump cocksuckers at Paramount, which is also a hostile takeover bid from Jared Kushner and the Saudis? Hoo boy. (Remember how much Trump hates Netflix? Does OBAMA NETFLIX ring a bell?) Wonkette will have a thing on it this morning, but if you wanna read something in the meantime, here’s Josh Marshall. [Talking Points Memo]
Here is some North Korean shit that is also white supremacist Nazi shit: MLK Day and Juneteenth are no longer free at national parks, but Donald Trump’s birthday is. [CBS News]
Golden Globe noms are out, is your mom on it? [New York Times]
Sydney Sweeney has finally decided to talk about all the unsavoriness, and says she is definitely “against hate.” Still registered as a Republican in Florida when she bought her house there. Didn’t get any Golden Globe nominations. [NBC News]
Glenn Beck made an AI George Washington, does he use it as a sex doll or is he too scared to fuck it? Dunno. [Right Wing Watch]
Getting out of here while you are unable to stop yourself from picturing Glenn Beck boning a George Washington Robot. Bye!
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It might just be me, but I really don't want to sit in the close confines of an airline seating arrangement right next to some sweaty dork that just did a bunch of exercises to, I dunno, prove his manhood or something? Mostly because of the smelly sweat, but also, DORK!