427 Comments

Are we going to make Dok get the engraved paddle again?

The one with "no prison rape jokes"?

I really hope not.

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I hope it won't be necessary, but if a paddling is called for, I'm all for it.

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As if anyone could put up with the smell long enough to go near that crusty fuck.

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I would be ashamed to make those jokes after reading Crip Dyke’s article about Dee Farmer.

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Or the Wikipedia article about Rodney Hulin.

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I hope he gets a few layers of grime off his body when he has to shower.

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Scrub brush ain't gonna do it.

At this point, a LASER won't get that shit off.

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the layers of rancid grime might protect him from ban-hammerable intrusions … here’s hoping they do one of those forced prison showers, ya know, him naked in a cell w/ guards & firehose followed by de-lousing …

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Might lose at least ten pounds.....

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Anyone know where Dok *got* his engraved paddle, and whether one can acquire a similar one that reads "STOP!" on one side and "PADDLE TIME!" on the other?

Asking for a friend...

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Funny you should ask.

I do have access to a laser engraver.

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I should think the previous Wonkette story should be warning enough.

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Is that going on? Wonkers should know better. Dok's Naughty Room of Loving Correction is not a fun place!

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WHAT IS THE LAW?

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NO SPILL BLOOD!

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get the comfy chair …

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Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Room

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I've felt the sting of his paddle.

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I've done some time there.

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I haven't seen any instances of this.

We all know better.

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Rape isn't funny in ANY context.

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Anyone who feels the urge to make such statements - I'm not going to call them jokes - should read CripDyke's article immediately below this one.

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Jun 6Edited

Hell, I have to restrain myself every time people make the three jumpsuits joke, because I figure jokes about getting stabbed in prison aren't within the rules either. Control yourselves, people.

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Oh come on, the three jumpsuits joke is at least kind of funny and based on sartorial choices made by the defendant. Also I can’t think of anything else except yay prison for Bannon!

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Shiv and let shiv, I always say

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Isn't that a James Bond movie theme song?

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Shiv and let die, surely???

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Shank you very much.

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Knife of you to say

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Hmm, I thought that was going towards 3 jumpsuits just because 3 shirts.

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yeah. i can't think what else it could possibly reference unless you are just making shit up. any multiple jumpsuit reference is clearly because the dude wears 27 shirts. anything beyond that is your own nonsense.

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Isn't he afraid all the extra layers will make him look fat?

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Think padding. And that's all I'll say on the matter.

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As Yr sometimes-overthinks-it Comments Moderator, I can assure you that even I got that as a joke about Bannon's habit of wearing up to 3 polo shirts at a time, collars evawhichaway, and not about shiv prevention. Laugh and feel no guilt at all.

More direct jokes about violence against the contemptible turd are, of course, not allowed.

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Usually three shirts to the wind

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huh? might need to say more because this is a non-sequitur that needs some clarification.

any jokes about multiple jumpsuits are because the dude wears multiple shirts. there is nothing more to it.

if you imagine there *is* some other more nefarious line of thinking... that is a creation of your own mind.

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I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with other people's three jumpsuit jokes, I was saying that I was having to stop myself from making a slightly over the line reply to them, and if I could do that, everyone else could refrain from leaping over the line.

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Pinned this comment, just in case.

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*blush*

(I guess?)

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You're Wonkette famous now!

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Oh those jokes are passe. We are into prison scat jokes now.

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Well, shit!

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Considering this is Bannon, seems appropriate

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Scoobady doo bop! Badoo!

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Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

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Sickity ska!!

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Technically he's prison guano.

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So you're saying: that man IS an island?

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no man is an island, i however am a peninsula …

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Who wants to get close to him?

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He certainly is batshit.

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When Judge Nichols kicks your MAGA ass all the way to jail, you can forget about a reprieve. No other judge reads the.laws.as creatively in favor of Trumpsters; Nichols can hang an entire appeal on a single proper noun (read super creatively).

When Carl Nichols gives you the boot, you can consider yourself booted.

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4 months ... as long as he doesn't get any disciplinary write-ups.

It Would Be Irresponsible Not To Speculate, etc.

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Too easy? Quote from TFN (look it up);

"Bannon was sentenced way back in 2022 to spend four months in prison, but was allowed to remain free while he was appealing, the only time in his life he was ever appealing."

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This thread is disturbing. Aren't we all friends?

Not the sickening kind. The type of friends where if we were attacked by other friends, we'd hide in various catacombs? And whisper. 💜

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The subpoena is sacrosanct to judges. No way he gets out of going to jail.

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Bannon knows how to make bathtub gin, hot tub schnapps and terlet Tequila. “There’s not jail built that will shut me up.” Possibly, but with the 24/7 noise, crying and screaming, who will listen? He’s a human avatar for right wing grievance. Like almost everyone in Trumpland, he’s a convict.

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All the President's Felons

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"TOP OF THE WORLD, M--..." ::thud::

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Why did this article run a picture of a pile of old, moldy mattresses next to a dumpster?

`

Oh, wait.

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You'd be surprised at how many people make that mistake.

Or maybe not.

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::runs in late, out of breath::

Hay, you guyzes! Has somebody already cracked the joke about how all the prison guards/intake workers are quitting en masse?

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It's a somewhat unconventional birthday present, but I'll take it.

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We figured you probably didn’t already have one.

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Poor Steve, the embodiment of "The Portrait of Dorian Gray" in reverse. Every shitty thing he does actually appears as another inflamed pustule on his face. If he keeps it up he'll have leprosy or maybe he already has it. Its not like he's going to Supermax, it will be a farm in Florida for old crimers.

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Wait...

`

The PAINTING was supposed to get older??

God damn it.

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Matted pubic hair libeled.

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Ta, Evan. Bannon is proof that being ugly inside manifests in the flesh. He's on the wrong side of every issue.

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July first is my 72 birthday. Merry Christmas!!!

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He says tete isn't a jail or prison built that will shut him up. Ha, he will be shut behind those prison doors. But truth, nothing but the hereafter will shut up this asswhipe of a human scab. But, we can keep trying.

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