431 Comments
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BackDoorMan's avatar

... and that hedge is on fire. Jesus Saves. Moses Invests. God Skims from the top.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... yeah, I don't recall anything about Him returning to work on the following Monday. Bit of a slacker if you ask me.

Extemporanus's avatar

Why can't they just enjoy the silence?

I have a (TRUE!) story that I could tell involving one half of Depeche Mode, my wife & I who were celebrating our five year wedding anniversary, the Hard Rock Casino bar in Vegas at 4am, a pair of Russian escorts, an exposed clothing tag, a trip to the bathroom, four hits of E, an amiably bemused plain clothes security goon who looked like a slightly overweight Matt Dillon wax figure, some blow, Keifer Sutherland, Marg Helgenberger, some more blow, Richard Kind, an epic MILF slap, a blonde Cuba Gooding, Jr., and a black bandana, but I think that I'll save it for another day.

BackDoorMan's avatar

"It's probably easier to tell other people they shouldn't retire if your "job" is spewing bullshit on the teevee for two or three hours a week." ... especially if you're A Old with a comfy job... Exhibit A: Pat Robertson Exhibit B: through Z: fill in your favourites, there are more than enough to choose from.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... but only if you eat dinner off an ironing board, so you can relate that story to prove how much you suffered. When Egg Rmoney told that heartwarming anecdote, I thought... "Luxury! You had dinner..."

BackDoorMan's avatar

... whatever it is, it can't come soon enough. And I hope they at least have sanity-humanity as a platform.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... oh, is that the "Puritan Work Ethic" I've heard tell about?

The Protestant work ethic (or the Puritan work ethic) is a concept in theology, sociology, economics and history which emphasizes that hard work and frugality are a result of a person's salvation in the Protestant faith, particularly in Calvinism, in contrast to the focus upon religious attendance, confession, and ceremonial sacrament in the Catholic tradition.

Yeah, no wonder I never subscribed to either.

BackDoorMan's avatar

Wow. I'd like to say this shocks me, but sadly it's all too familiar and I've run out of invectives to hurl. Politicians collecting a hefty pension after a few years "service" (I can't call it work) and then continuing to make bank via lobbying, sitting on a Fortune 500 Board, hitting the lecture circuit or becoming a Faux Nooze bobble-head... well, this shit makes me stabby. People that never earned their paycheque don't deserve a pension, and they certainly don't deserve to double-dip.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... I'll be back to hear more, but right now... I'll be in my bunk.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... "I never retired. I quit. And I'm still quitting things. So there." -$arah P.(brain)

BackDoorMan's avatar

... "But we're several centuries beyond that, now." Well, I'd like to think so, but apparently the fundaMENTAList zombie-horde doesn't agree with me.

BackDoorMan's avatar

... I thought he was the originator of the Holy Ponzi Scheme? That's a job, no?

tubuc's avatar

What next? Jesus wants us to work forever and for free. How come Jesus never says kill the rich and take all their stuff? Just asking for a friend.

AngryKatie's avatar

Giants fan. The only good thing about our time with AJ was that he was only here one season.

L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

Secular? That's WORSE!

- David 'wouldn't know the truth if it was wearing a name tag' Barton

L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

Oh, we didn't need to double-check against the Bible to know THAT.