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Spurning Beer's avatar

I, for one, am sick and tired of these constant bear attacks.

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Spurning Beer's avatar

White bears, of course, are not a threat. In Florida.

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

We've had bears in our yard and they've done such things as steal a suet feeder, mangle an all metal mesh sunflower seed feeder and artistically bend our shepherd hooks into extravagant curves.

Otherwise they've scooted up our tree one evening, when my hubby and our 7 lb. cat startled them by coming out on the porch. One pretty big one scooted quick like a bunny out the back by jumping over the fence when Joe and I and that same scary 7 lb. kitty spotted it in the daytime. Black bears are pretty mild mannered. Even that one eveningwhen a cub was climbing up our blue spruce one evening, all mom did back by our shed was show us her glittery eyes and huff at us and her idiot child. We went back in and junior caught onto Mom not being thrilled with his behavior.

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LuluBean12 StarGeezer's avatar

We've had bears in our yard and they've done such things as steal a suet feeder, mangle an all metal mesh sunflower seed feeder and artistically bend our shepherd hooks into extravagant curves.

Otherwise they've scooted up our tree one evening, when my hubby and our 7 lb. cat startled them by coming out on the porch. One pretty big one scooted quick like a bunny out the back by jumping over the fence when Joe and I and that same scary 7 lb. kitty spotted it in the daytime. Black bears are pretty mild mannered.

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Jim Parker's avatar

I, for one, was not aware of the incredibly serious problem of cocaine addicted bears running loose throughout the otherwise quiet neighborhoods of Florida. Surely, the good citizens of that fair state must be allowed to protect themselves against this invasion of large, furry, and aggressive mammals. But the post also begs a question. Is The Simpsons a magical foreteller of the future, or do Republicans, apparently in a vain effort to find joy in their lives, at least when they can't be separating families at the border, kicking trans and gay human beings, and forcing women to produce babies without women's permission, find their actual joy in pulling batshit ideas out of their asses after stumbling across a Simpsons episode. To all English majors, teachers, and others who have been offended by the previous sentence, my apologies. Even I wondered WTF that was.

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tegrat's avatar

Kids, no bear costumes this halloween, please!

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AlbertCamus's avatar

What about unborn bears? Florida, your move.

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Megan Macomber's avatar

That really is the question. But you know crack: it goes straight to the fetus. Better to shoot first and think later.

Forget about it, Jake. It's Florida.

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simpledinosaur's avatar

The trouble with humans is that when they fear something, they tend to try to exterminate it. To be fair, there's been some growing-up along the way: there are laws and regulations that "speak up" for creatures that inspire fear or loathing: snakes, alligators, sharks, big bears, and so forth. But that tendency to treat them hatefully and talk about them with hate persists. What percentage of the world's sharks supposedly have died because a major movie played upon people's instinctive fear of sharks? Now we have idiots with their bear legislation. Great. Poor old Yogi and Smoky don't have a chance. Things shouldn't have to be safe, warm, and cuddly for us, for us to respect them as fellow creatures.

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knockedoutloaded's avatar

plus, lots of humans fear smarter species than them!

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Fifth Dentist's avatar

I had never realized the true evil of DeKlantis until I read a few days ago that he had vetoed a bill that would allow fining super-slow drivers who insist in driving in the left lane.

Bastard!

That is the one thing that makes me want to road rage more than anything else.

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AlbertCamus's avatar

Wow. That is very 'meatball' of him. I've driven in FL.

Not crazy about everyone racing to red lights and braking under green ones, either. They consider the traffic light a personal penance; disrupting the whole purpose of traffic lights (to direct flow).

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Nancy Naive's avatar

“I think my father will go down, maybe his greatest accomplishment, will actually be kind of the unvarnished honesty that he’s really taken toward the whole system,” Eric Trump said on the far-right “X22 Report” podcast.

He’s right! History will be kind to Donald. Historians are loath to use expressions like “fucking idiot”.

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Hippo Heaven's avatar

I just wanted to say that "Cocaine Bear" was FAR superior to "Snakes on a Plane."

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Squatchferatu's avatar

Gentle Ben gets both barrels…

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

DiSappointus signs a bill making it legal for Floridians to shoot bears, and he does it during Pride Month?

Wake up, sheeple!

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RRJKR's avatar

Gov. Ron DeSantis, teeny weeny tough guy I'm Still trying to figure out if Matt Gaetz more closely resembles Beavis or Butthead

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Viole Falusche's avatar

Except for hair color, it's Beavis.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Cocaine sharks are a much bigger Florida problem than cocaine bears.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Madness.

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