Good News, Ladies, Your Bra Won't Give You Cancer And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Good news, bad news, old news, new news -- Yr Wonkette has it all, for all your news needs.

• In case you were worried that your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder was doing cancer to your lady lumps, breathe a sigh of relief because apparently, that's not true after all :

  Although past studies and literature have suggested otherwise, researchers are now saying there is not a link between bra wearing and breast cancer. [...]

  “No aspect of bra wearing, including bra cup size, recency, average number of hours/day worn, wearing a bra with an underwire, or age first began regularly wearing a bra, was associated with risks of either invasive ductal carcinoma or invasive lobular carcinoma,” the study says. “Our results did not support an association between bra wearing and increased breast cancer risk among postmenopausal women.”

  We've yet to see a study that says a strict vodka-and-chocolate diet is bad for you, so we'll just carry on until we hear otherwise. Prove us wrong, science! (But please don't.)

• Life can be so unfair! You're found guilty ofonealmost a dozen counts of fraud and corruption, and suddenly you're persona non grata at the nation's most prestigious university:

  Ex-Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell has lost his teaching gig at Liberty University.

  The Christian college announced on Friday they had ditched the disgraced politician after he was convicted on multiple federal corruption charges.

  Liberty President Jerry Falwell had called the former governor “a longtime friend of the university” in April, when McDonnell was appointed a visiting professor in government. [...]

  But after his fall from grace, his unique qualifications are no longer in demand.

• Ever wanted to know what's hiding in the Vatican Secret Archives ?

  Michelangelo penned a letter to the pope warning that Vatican guards hadn’t received paychecks in three months, and that they were threatening to walk off the job. [...]

  There are letters from Abraham Lincoln as well as Jefferson Davis, who wrote to try to convince Pope Pius IX that the South was an innocent victim of Northern aggression. Neither man was Catholic.

  The doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, the notion that Mary was conceived without original sin, was articulated in 1854 on a piece of parchment that’s in the archives.

  And there are pics too, so you know it happened.

• On Tuesday, we told you about this crazy family feud between Nebraska Lt. Gov. Lavon Heidemann and his sister, who sought a protective order after they got into a full-on family brawl over how to "disperse their deceased father’s property" and who had to take care of Mom. Nothing brings a family together like fighting over your dearly departed's stuff, right? Now, a new chapter :

  An emotionally wrought Lavon Heidemann resigned as lieutenant governor and withdrew as Republican Pete Ricketts’ running mate, one day after a judge issued a restraining order against him at his sister’s request. [...]

  “I love this state and I am forever thankful for the people of this state who have faithfully supported me. I wish you well,” said Heidemann, who barely made it through a short statement during a press conference.

  His voice broke repeatedly throughout his one-minute statement.

  Think Thanksgiving will be awkward?

• Plagiarism is bad, y'all. Especially when you add SEX to it :

  Rachel Ann Nunes, a proud Mormon author of 47 novels, says her Christian romance novel A Bid for Love was ripped off by a Salt Lake City area schoolteacher. To make matters worse, the teacher, Tiffanie Rushton, addedsex stuffto it.

• Allen West got a tattoo . Feel free to make all the "you know who ELSE liked tattoos?" jokes you want.

And that's all the news that fit to blurb.