40 Comments

Rick Perry said WHAT?!?!?

Expand full comment

You won't have to fret for long: <a href="http://www.spacex.com/" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.spacex.com/">http://www.spacex.com/</a>

Heaving stuff into orbit is a profitable business, and businesses are itching to do it. Commercial launches won't have everyone waving the flag and singing the national anthem, but I think it's about time we got past that.

NASA will continue to work on the hard stuff, like getting men to Mars. That's going to be one very cool mission... and we'll probably break out the flags again.

Expand full comment

One of the best reasons to hope we find signs of intelligent life out there, is the resulting epidemic of exploding heads in the right-wing religious wacko community. The Mormons will be antsy to send astronauts in white shirts (raising doubts among the aliens over whether <i>they've</i> discovered an intelligent species), but the rest of 'em will die of terminal cognitive dissonance.

Expand full comment

Perry would take the Federal pork, then claim the jobs were created by Texas' bass-ackwards Republiclown policies.

Expand full comment

Chase, BofA, and Citi already offer loans on Klingon terms... they're way ahead of the curve. (Or maybe it's Ferengi terms -- someone help me out here.)

Expand full comment

Built up to world-class status, then out-done by the Japanese. Where have we seen this pattern before?

Expand full comment

"...collecting unpaid income taxes."

Not from the Job* creators, you don't!!!! _____________________ *(Given that the zillionaire class is busily scarfing up the half of everything that they don't already own, leaving middle class Americans to suffer the trials of Job, I think we need to change how we pronounce "Job creator". I'm gonna be capitalizing the "J" from now on.

Expand full comment

I haven't seen them lately, but there were those ads on TV with happy people talking about how they only paid a fraction of their taxes thanks to the so-and-so tax service. They were always well-to-do. And happy. It made me crazy. They reap the rewards of living in America and are <i>proud</i> that they dodged responsibility to their fellow citizens. I think that attitude is considered heroic by the TP'ers.

Expand full comment

A bit of wingnut weirdness I never knew about: <a href="http://cache.gawkerassets.c..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/39/20...">http://cache.gawkerassets.c...

The idea that "medical marijuana" is what mellowed them out is pretty funny. The old lady must have shit a brick when that happened.

Expand full comment

It was. My grandmother, who was about 80 at the time (she grew up with horses and buggies on the roads), was sitting there quietly, and suddenly asked, "Wait a minute ... are they <i>really on the moon</i>?" We all assured her that this was the news (that's <i>Walter Cronkite</i>, after all), and yes, a man was standing on the moon at that very moment.

She sat there for a moment, and said, "Well, I'll be damned!"

Expand full comment

Christ ... how high is Arizona gonna have to make that fucking wall??

Expand full comment

No matter how psychotic or demented you are.

Expand full comment

Are you kidding? They'll come back towing a forty-trillion-ton moonlet made of pure carbon, wanting to burn the whole fucking lot of it in Chinese power plants.

Expand full comment

Works for me, so long as Branson does that Job creatin' thing with most of the money.

Expand full comment

"The world also shall be stable, that it be not moved." Chronicles 16:30

End of discussion.

Expand full comment

Can they revoke his gayness for that?

Expand full comment