17 Comments
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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

*to be read in Pee Wee Herman's voice*

Hey Ted, if you love your phone so much why don't you marry it? Oh that's right, You can't legally marry your phone. Ha!

Martini Glambassador's avatar

ZOLAR is right about at least one thing:

<i>"Rick Scott has a very difficult chart, when it comes to women."</i>

Not sure if a chart of women is like a binder full of women, though.

Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

<em>Shouldn’t Cruz be seeking a bigot-friendly alternative?</em>

"Get the hell away from us, you nut." - Samsung

Olav_Pompatus's avatar

<em>Shouldn’t Cruz be seeking a bigot-friendly alternative?</em>

Ted, instead of your iPhone, perhaps you should switch to a No-Queer-ia smartphone.

Olav_Pompatus's avatar

Having Nikko Jenkins' endorsement isn't quite as good as having Don Corleone's, but it's still pretty good.

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Dear Tony, kindly shut the fuck up. It's been years since you and your ilk have been the majority with regards to any of the dead horse issues you continue to beat. What you call an oppressive government forcing their agenda on real Muricans the rest of us who actually ARE the majority simply call responsive government. Being in the minority doesn't make you right, it makes you a sore loser,

schmannity's avatar

Somehow, a greasy bag of latkes is not what most sugar-crazed trick-or-treaters is hoping for.

Fitzgerald Chesterfield's avatar

<i>So it’s quite fitting that this week, during a competency hearing. . . Jenkins endorsed, that’s right, Lee Terry.</i>

Interesting twist on the old Twinkie defense.

Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Well, it was well known that he was a homosexualist anyway, when he became CEO it was always mentioned. Except Murikans can't remember anything past 1 week.

PubOption's avatar

I don't think that there are many Jewish kids in my neighborhood, but should I give candy to trick-or-treaters who ring the bell before it gets dark?

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

<i>... Urban Adama, a Jewish-oriented educational farm and community center in Berkeley, Calif...</i>

Trying to think of a good <i>Battlestar Galactica</i> joke...

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

<i>Family Research Council President Tony Perkins is still an asshole.</i>

I am so disappointed in Tony Perkins, because I loved in in <i>Psycho</i> and <i>Catch-22</i>.

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

Excuse me, Mr. Itt, there's a spokes-person from the Union of Emotionally Stunted 12 Year Old Rhesus Monkeys on line 3...

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

That's a well-documented symptom of Ebola. Or watching cable news. I don't remember which.

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

The kind that pop your hubcaps off.

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

Standard Wonkette Commenter Meme #32.