GOP FIGHT! Richard Burr Says Devin Nunes Is Total Dumbfuck Who Makes Shit Up

dumb lying fuck

Oh golly gee, there is a rumble a-brewing, and shit is about to get all West Side Story in the United States Capitol! Except in this version, there is no Tony and Maria being all gay at each other like "THEEEERRRRE'S A PLACE FOR US, A TIME AND PLACE FOR US, SOMEHOW! SOMEDAY! SOMEWHERE!" This version just features fighting between the Republican chairmen of the House and Senate intelligence committees.

Obama National Security Adviser Susan Rice testified before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Friday in a closed session. If you'll remember, Donald Trump and some Republicans have been trying to distract from the actual Trump-Russia scandal, in part by alleging Rice did something ILLEGAL and WRONGBAD, by "improperly" "unmasking" members of the Trump team picked up in routine FISA surveillance. It has always been bullshit. Unmasking is a normal thing in the day-to-day operations of being the national security adviser, and unmasking requests are approved by the NSA (the National Security Agency! Not former National Security Adviser Susan Rice!) when they determine it's necessary to "unmask" a U.S. person who is either communicating with foreigns about ILLEGAL or WRONGBAD things or being DISCUSSED by foreigns about their illegal and wrongbad things.

Back in March, Rep. Devin Nunes, the dumb-as-dogshit chair of the House Intelligence Committee, embarrassed the shit out of himself, his constituents, America, God and Jesus, when he spent a week and a half going to the White House to see secret White House intelligence on improper "unmasking," then immediately running from the White House to the White House (schmoozing with reporters the whole way!) to tell the White House all the salacious White House "unmasking" intelligence he had just learned from the White House.

After the Senate Intel Committee's little meeting with Susan Rice, Senator Richard Burr, chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, decided to talk some unholy shit about that, and also about Devin The Dipshit Duke Of Dumbfuckistan:

"The unmasking thing was all created by Devin Nunes ...

CREATED. MADE UP. PULLED OUT OF HIS ASS.

... and I'll wait to go through our full evaluation to see if there was anything improper that happened," Burr said.

BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT.

"But clearly there were individuals unmasked. Some of that became public which it's not supposed to, and our business is to understand that, and explain it."

AND DEVIN WILL STILL LOOK LIKE A BIG IDIOT.

In short, Senator Richard Burr does not have time for Rep. Devin Nunes and his trifling folderol, and he's willing to say so. We're not saying we advocate violence, but if Burr decided to meet Nunes at high noon and punch him in his big ugly face, we'd liveblog it. Just saying.

It's a good thing Nunes, a shitweasel from the dumbest ring of hell, is recused from the House Intel Committee's investigation into the Trump-Russia problem! Oh wait he's actually NOT really recused, it's just that he decided all by his lonesome after reading the pertinent intelligence (probably the secret messages in his skid marks) that there was no collusion between Trump and Russia, and now he's doing his own extra special investigation into "unmasking," because he is Donald Trump's slobbering, justice-obstructing buttboy, and also he's so stupid he probably shouldn't be allowed to put on his own pants in the morning without wearing a helmet.

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to pay our salaries!

[ CNN ]