15 Comments
User's avatar
Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

This country used to be cool. Fuckem, just fuckem.

TundraGrifter's avatar

When I first heard that I thought it was a joke. Then a good friend of mine told me his daughter had caught him with a joint and was blackmailing him.

Is this a wonderful country or what?

TundraGrifter's avatar

Didn't the British use Congreve Rockets at the Battle of New Orleans?

Now, of course, to call the British Imperialists is a bad thing. Just ask Mike Huckleberry...

Mayor_Quimby's avatar

Count King James among the terrists, headland, name rhymes with Hebron, throws chalk in the air while facing east as his "ritual" .total terrist

TundraGrifter's avatar

In this same vein, it turns out much of what we've heard, read and seen about law enforcement "profilers" is pure BS.

I highly recommend "Dangerous Minds" by Malcolm Gladwell (yes, that Malcolm Gladwell). Fascinating! <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/re..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/11/12/071...">http://www.newyorker.com/re...

Spurning Beer's avatar

A college roommate of mine did his internship and psychiatry residency in Portland ME. He talked about ER cases like patients with light bulbs stuck in their rectums as being common. So yes. Lord Satan is venerated in Maine, too.

Spurning Beer's avatar

Q: How can you tell that a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving, his body is shaved, he is wearing a headband, he has a long beard, and the ACLU and the UN and the SEIU are in league with radical Islamists to impose Sharia law schools on personal liability attorneys.

Mahousu's avatar

So counter-terrorism education is about as accurate, and as effective, as D.A.R.E. Except it doesn't encourage kids to turn their parents into the police, so it still has a ways to go.

fuflans's avatar

hey! where is the wonkette coverage of the northwestern university live sex demonstration of a motorised sex toy in a lecture hall?

this has been a particularly hard day and i think we've earned it.

BarackMyWorld's avatar

I guess President Obama was <a href="http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=Z-FPimCmbX8&amp\;feature=player_embedded#at=58" target="_blank">on the phone</a> with the DHS in that video, evidently.

BarackMyWorld's avatar

Boom shocka locka shocka locka shocka locka...

AngryBlakGuy's avatar

...honestly, I wouldn't blame anyone driving a "Plymouth Breeze" if they decided to strap 30lbs of C-4 around their waste and turn themselves into red mist! Actually, I may encourage it!!!!!!

AngryBlakGuy's avatar

...your neighbor is "Pakistani"(pronounced: OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!!!!)?! I already know he must always play with the Terrorist class!!!

fuflans's avatar

k. time for a cocktail.

fuflans's avatar

also, i think today is officially lily allen day:

fuck you, fuck you very very much cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don't stay in touch.