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Grandma Palin Strikes Again, Knocks Up Newest Family Member
There must be something in that Alaska soil that makes the young women there so fertile, at least the young women who spend a lot of time getting hammered and doing it , in said soil. America weeps this evening, because someone in the Palin family is apparently pregnant again. No, it is not Piper (yet), it is that girl Britta, who had a denim-themed wedding to Track Palin on top of a mountain back in May. But hey, May was not that long ago, and she looks pretty pregnant in these Facebook photos retrieved by Gawker . Oh no, Palins. Not again.
There are some photos of a girl named “Britta Pie” drowning in a swamp of pastel colors, on Facebook, which seems like an odd way for a Palin relative to announce a pregnancy, when isn't that supposed to be some sort of “miracle” or “gift” or whatever?
Eldest child Track Palin married high school sweetheart Britta Hanson two months ago, and now we hear that Britta is pregnant. Britta looks to be several months along—perhaps more than two months?
Britta's friends responded to the Facebook pictures with elation. But given the timing of Britta's pregnancy, the happy couple may want to tell Sarah Palin to shut up the next time she champions abstinence-only education or Bristol sermonizes against extramarital sex, lest the conception of another Palin grandchild and the rationale behind another well-publicized Palin marriage fall into question.
There is only one possible explanation for this! The baby is Sarah’s, she just hates looking all pregnant when she’s on the teevee, squawking about things. What shall we name this new Palin child? So far we have come up with "Foot," "Quit," "Freight," and "Plow." [ Gawker ]