Grifty 'Heterosexual Awesomeness Month' Guy Bought A Cybertruck After Asking For Donations
Because of course he did.
The right-wing grift machine is real.
Earlier this month, Mike Fitzpatrick, the owner of the Old State Saloon in Idaho, made the national news by proclaiming June — the same month as Pride — to be “Heterosexual Awesomeness Month,” which he celebrates by offering discounts to straight people who come into his bar. As if anyone else would!
Now, dude has been telling everyone all about how this has been such a success for him, and how people are so excited about it that they are saying they might just get on a plane to fly to Idaho to go to his weird bar and be praised for being straight — which is just about the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.
"I was thinking of a way that we could celebrate the other side of sexuality, heterosexuality, the way God designed it. And that's kind of where I'm at with people that support us and are like-minded. So we decided to do Heterosexual Awesomeness Month and then launched it and boy, oh boy, did it take off," Fitzpatrick told Fox News Digital. […]
"We've had a whole bunch of people come in, in person into our saloon. We've had people driving way out of their way. We had a couple come in, they drove 400 miles out of their way on their trip across the country yesterday...and other people have said they're going to fly in from out of state. Other people said next time they're in the state, they're going to stop by and support us," Fitzpatrick said.
Despite all of this supposed success, he also started a “GiveSendGo” (GoFundMe but for fascists) asking his supporters for donations to make up for everything he has lost, heroically fighting for the right of heterosexual people to feel special, and to help him build an “event center” for conservative events in Idaho. You know, something of a safe space far from all of the crazy liberalism that (checks notes) Idaho is famous for.
Via GiveSendGo:
Since we announced Hetero Awesomeness Month we’ve had some significant backlash: theft of our property, vendors refusing to fulfill our orders for ingredients, wedding catering cancelation, libel, slander - even the owner being falsely accused of being a sex offender! But, to the credit of the community that is rational and reasonable, we’ve also received so much support from like-minded people who want to celebrate “Heterosexual Awesomeness Month” with us, and get the concept of it as being about freedom and being true to our personal values. Many have asked about sending financial support, so this platform is going to serve as the conduit for people who want to contribute to this vision and fund the current construction of a physical location specifically for traditional and faith-based events, preserving Idaho's amazing and conservative culture. Brave owner Mark Fitzpatrick said “If the world wants to support 'Heterosexual Awesomeness Month' by crowdfunding this larger Hetero HQ, lets do it!” He and his team are passionate about building a Community Event Center where conservatism can be appreciated, including Hetero Awesomeness Month-style events every year. He currently owns the land, and all proceeds will benefit the next phases of the build-out, which include the parking lot and larger indoor space.
So far it has raised nearly $16,000, which just goes to show you that when it comes to right-wing self-esteem issues, there’s gold in them thar hills.
Fitzpatrick clearly wasn’t in that tight of a spot financially, however — as he gleefully announced on Facebook that he just bought a brand new Tesla cybertruck! You know, the ones that start at $80,000, are super allergic to bird poop and are falling apart all over the place?
Yes. One of those. Because what better way is there to own the libs than to spend a stupid amount of money on a car that’s going to fall apart, because the guy who owns the company is an enormous asshole?
“It has arrived! Next: custom wrap, huge flag, huge hetero flag, and a big .50 cal machine gun mounted to the roof = Old State Freedom Truck! Coming soon!” Fitzpatrick wrote on Facebook.
Alas, no one in the comments seemed to be particularly happy for him, including many of his supporters who were quite upset that he would buy an EV in the first place. Because hey, they may love Elon Musk, but they love murdering the planet more!
There’s a lot that’s skeevy about bragging about your brand new piece-of-crap car just a few weeks after begging for donations, but you know what? I love this for him. I actually do. He should absolutely screw all of these suckers out of their money, and I won’t feel badly for them for a second.
OPEN THREAD!
[Fox News Digital / GiveSendGo]
PREVIOUSLY:
Celebrating "heterosexual awesomeness month" with a brand new IncEl Camino. It's kind of perfect when you think about it.
This was dad’s car, got it near the end of his life at 47. Now it sits on my brother’s property slowly sinking into the ground, it’s aging becoming it’s beauty.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-59965004?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc