218 Comments

It almost makes me want to believe in the Rapture just to see the looks on their faces when it comes, and they're the ones left behind.

Expand full comment

I don't think loving the Lord was an issue here.

Expand full comment

Gives a whole new meaning to "Why don't we do it in the road?".

Expand full comment

Nixon was forced to resign from office, and the conservatards will not be satisfied until they get their pound of flesh from the other side. Until a Democratic President is removed from office, "Impeach" will be the first and last word out of every conservatard's mouth.

Expand full comment

He deserves all the votey voting votes thrown at him, with an extra helping of votes. And fuck the hypocritical Republican politicians who support him.

There are a lot of things that have made me heartsick over the past year or so, but this bullshit is making me angry, heartsick and physically ill.

I think I should just watch my cat for a while. He is sleeping adorably right now.

Expand full comment

Err, this is Wonkette. If you take everything said here literally you'll just end up confused, man.

Expand full comment

I assume he's not in too much trouble, as he's suing Hastert for the unpaid money.

Expand full comment

lenience for this individual would be to kill him. prison will be worse than death for him. what am i saying, the country club prison he will see, will be nicer than my home.

Expand full comment

Dear Judge:Please burn all the other letters and put this schmuck away, forever, for the crimes of grossness against the state and oh yeah molesting all the boys.Yours truly,Yr Wonkette.

I loved the whole article (except for the repulsive subject matter, of course), but this part alone would qualify it for "comment of the week" status for me.

Expand full comment

The Homosexual Red Sox?

Expand full comment

Above anything else, THAT should be an admission of guilt by itself, right there.

"Well I my job application includes a stirring reference from Tom Delay...."

"Ok officers throw that man behind bars , stat...and check his computer."

Expand full comment

Big ups for using the word "passel". My personal favoritest word for a group of anything.

Expand full comment

And this is why the Catholic Church is infested with paedophiles.

Expand full comment

No one does it better than Perry!

Expand full comment

Seriously. I want to know whose judgement is this awful and every time they speak in support of anything I want a note next to their name saying "tried to get paedophile off".

Expand full comment

Hastert Hastert Hastert!

Expand full comment