Guess Donald Trump Is Full-On Panicking About Fani Willis Now

Seethe, loser.

Truly Donald Trump is losing his mind, truly he can feel the walls closing in on him, and clearly he knows the fourth indictment — or numbers 79 to infinity and beyond, if you’re counting by charges — is likely coming very, very soon.

So he’s lashing out, with conspiracy theories he’s decoded from the smells of his own farts, and with pure, unbridled fear, the kind that might yet end up being a more efficient source of energy than those windmills Trump hates so much. Science should do some experiments on that.

Follow the bouncing dog brain:

“I probably have another [indictment] where they say there’s a young woman, a young racist in Atlanta, they say racist. And they say, I guess they say that she was after a certain gang and she ended up having an affair with the head of the gang or a gang member. And this is a person that wants to indict me. She’s got a lot of problems, but she wants to indict me to try and run for some other office. What’s going on in this country is, by the way, wants to indict me for a perfect phone call. This was even better than my perfect call with Ukraine. Remember that call? That was a perfect call. This one’s better. This one is more perfect.”

Of course he calls her racist because in his mangled, sick mind, all Black people who don’t bow down to him are “racist.” We have absolutely zero idea what the dementia syphilis lie about Willis having an affair with a gang member is about, but Rolling Stone has an explainer.

Trump has repeatedly attempted to discredit prosecutors investigating him, and while it’s unclear what Trump was talking about when he accused Willis of having an affair with “gang member,” recent social media posts indicate that he is wildly misrepresenting a case she handled in 2019. 

Imagine that.

In January, Rolling Stone spoke to rapper YSL Mondo, who co-founded the Young Stoner Life (YSL) music label with Young Thug. Willis represented Mondo during a 2019 aggravated assault case, and would later go on to prosecute YSL’s Young Thug and 13 other defendants in a RICO case alleging that the music group had affiliations with gang violence in the Atlanta area. 

According to Mondo, Willis’ prosecution of Young Thug ran contrary to the impression he’d developed of the prosecutor when she represented him. “This is not her character, this is not who she is,” he told Rolling Stone. “I done had auntie-to-nephew, mother-to-son type of talks with her. I know this not her character. This is what made me start looking at [the YSL case] like I know it’s bigger than just her. It’s politics behind this shit. It’s other people that’s behind her pulling strings.”

And somehow in the game of right-wing telephone, which is more a game of lying than a game of telephone, it’s turned into Willis having a sexual affair with somebody she represented. Even that fucking nerd walking NextDoor account Laura Loomer is trying to tweet about it like she speaks street, saying Willis is a “straight up THOT,” and “Baby girl belongs in a Trap House, not a court house.” Sure thing, Ms. Loomer.

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The rest of Trump’s rant was laser pointer babbling about “perfect phone call,” because the man knows six adjectives and “perfect” is one of them. Literally no other human alive or dead would babble about having “perfect phone calls,” but when God was handing out brains, Trump got one that had accidentally gone through a rock tumbler or a washing machine, we think.

So that’s how he talks. He’s embarrassingly bad at it.

Speaking of Fani Willis, the New York Times is reporting that the indictment could very likely be coming next week, so save some time in your calendars for leaning in to joy and schadenfreude.

And speaking of Trump losing it because the walls are closing in and he’s scared and there’s nowhere to hide from his fear and nowhere to hide from his own true, shameful, shriveled, humiliated self, here’s another one he fake-tweeted from his fake Twitter:

The text, in which we have attempted to copy down all the mangled syntax correctly:

The Obama appointed judge in the FREE SPEECH indictment of me by my political opponent, Crooked Joe Biden’s Department of InJustice, shared professional ties at the law firm that worked for Energy Burisma, based in Ukraine, of which Hunter Biden and his associate were “proud” MEMBERS OF THE BOARD, and were paid Millions of Dollars, even though Hunter knew almost NOTHING about Energy. How much was the law firm paid? So Horrible. This is a CLASSIC Conflict of Interest! “GATEWAY PUNDIT”

So that’s what a barely literate mental breakdown looks like, we reckon.

Bless his heart.

And we mean that in the southern way, which in this case roughly translates as “fuck around and find out.”

[Rolling Stone]

Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

BlueSky! 

@evanjosephhurst on Threads!

I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.

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