254 Comments
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RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Instead of X-zilla versus Metadon, couldn't we just get DeShameless and PAB to do a cage match?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Trump's supporters don't respond to blandishments and enticements to lure them away. They respond to strength. If Ron was in this to win this, he needed to come out swinging. "Trump's yesterday's news. He's a loser. Weak. I'm the real deal. Fuck Trump!"

BTW Whar DeSantis Iowa corn dog pic?

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

Somebody who routinely fantasizes about slitting throats is profoundly sick and dangerous.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

The same could be said for someone who laughs at torture.

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Tecolote's avatar

This morning I read that Puddin' Fingers has removed an elected county prosecutor, Monique Worrell, for no legitimate reason. She is a Democrat, natch, and a Black woman. I guess he thought that would give him some more points with the repub primary voters.

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Boojum's avatar

DeSantis considers "Democrat" and "Black woman" to be legitimate reasons for removing her.

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Doug Langley's avatar

Another possibility is that he just hates minorities and Democrats and women.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

By “scaling back,” does he more or less illegal use of state vehicles for out of state campaign trips?

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Amy!'s avatar

I _think_ he means hiring a personal assistant to scratch those hard-to-reach itchy scales running down his spine. They're covered up all the time by these human clothes, you know, so they just collect lint and other ick. So uncomfortable!

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UnDrewsual's avatar

Now for all the articles about how DeSantis or someone else still has a chance, just like they write about Biden not running.

The reason for this is, of course, that they are desperate for an actual competitive primary that they can write about. If it's already a given that it will be Trump vs Biden again, well that doesn't give them anything to have a hot take on. They don't actually care who runs, they just feel that they can't get people to read their articles unless they can talk about all the latest insider info from the various campaigns.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

“Biden not running” is the media’s “fetch.” They’ll never stop trying to make it happen.

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You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

And in every scenario where they game that out you'll see them all skip past MVP Harris and fantasize about Gavin Newsome, because she doesn't smile enough, or laughs too much or something.

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Caepan's avatar

I wonder white they would do that?

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

She triggers them for all the reasons Obama and Hillary did, combined.

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DemoCat's avatar

Can Trump really survive all these federal and state indictments for more than another full year? Never forget, Trump has clearly made several deals with Satan to get this far physically with his diet, abhorrence of exercise and 4 hours of “sleep” each night, not to mention living in a constant state of rage. Wayne Coyne, lead singer of The Flaming Lips said he was deeply affected by a quote about The Beatles, specifically about remembering they are just 4 human beings. Trump is a cult of personality, but he’s also just an aging man who isn’t living a healthy lifestyle and hasn’t for years. I cannot imagine Trump being able to legally, physically or psychologically overcome what’s happening to him - his comeuppance.

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The Old KC's avatar

I have been wondering the same thing, and so many Wonkers have too.

It’s sheer spite and uppers that keep him alive at this point. And that won’t last forever.

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fakeconsultant's avatar

He may deny it, but the only way Trump's whole pattern of behavior makes sense is if he's on speed.

Pretty sure if you tracked it down you'd discover he's been on a more or less continuous run since about 10 AM, 1983.

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Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

The DeSaster campaign has a MoRon problem, because most of us want LessRon.

Also, Trump recently called Christie a "fat pig" which will probably make Trump's huge followers die with laughter, because they know their idol would never call THEM fat pigs.

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Phried Ω's avatar

"Naked and Afraid" should sponsor one of the debates. Let the voters decide.

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Zap's avatar

"it’s not even clear DeSantis himself knows the rationale for his candidacy." Woke. Woke woke. Wokedy woke woke. That's about it.

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Doug Langley's avatar

Did you see the Doonesbury where the reporter keeps asking DeSantis about policy and all he gets is "Woke! Woke woke!" Finally he says "Anyone else want to try?"

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DemoCat's avatar

That’s all he’s got. Forget actual agenda or policy. He doesn’t even pretend to have a strategy to entice voters with hopes of a better future. Nope. Just “wokeness, bad.” That’s it. Whatever woke is, it’s bad. Look at the deadly recession we are living in! Unemployment is approaching 3%! The horror. Biden’s son is Hunter! Barbie movie made over a Billion dollars! Bud Light is cheaper than bottled water! Kids are using litter boxes in school instead of burning books like they are supposed to! Our military can’t win the war in Ukraine (because we aren’t actually fighting there) because they are too woke! They refuse to fire a weapon! They just sit around smoking pot, braiding each other’s hair and making up pronouns! Disney is trying to destroy the FL economy by cancel culturing a $billion office complex plan! Vote for Ron!

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Mavenmaven's avatar

Trump at least waited until he took office to endlessly fire all his best employees and their replacements.

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DemoCat's avatar

His campaign was a shitshow too, but you are right that he really found the joy of firing people as potus once anybody did one of two things - either show some restraint and/or speak the unflattering truth, or do something even more vile than Trump himself, like Rob Porter punching his poor wife in the face. Hope Hicks was actually dating that horrible person when he was escorted from the White House. Yikes.

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Doug Langley's avatar

Remember a little reality tv show with the catchphrase "You're fired!"

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Mavenmaven's avatar

So many scandals, so much incompetence, so much crime, it is hard to keep count, those early days feel like decades ago.

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Seek's avatar

Oh I don't know about that - There was a revolving carousel of Campaign Managers starting with Manafort and Lewandowski and who knows who else. Who was the cyber guy? Am I remembering someone who wasn't Corey and yet it was? So many incompetent lunatics and I've lost my cheat sheets!

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Mal Speranza's avatar

A bit OT: 𝗙𝗕𝗜 𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀’ 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗔𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗰𝘂𝗲 𝟭𝟯 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴, nearly 100 people arrested in Australia and GUESS WHICH US STATE?

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/global-sex-abuse-probe-launched-after-2021-murder-of-2-fbi-agents-in-sunrise-leads-to-100-arrests/3087807/

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/aug/08/australia-paedophile-ring-fbi-agent

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Ryp's avatar

In case you were wondering why Republicans want to defund the FBI

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Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

Wait...I thought the FBI was helping Hillary and Tom Hanks run all the pedophile rings.

It's a shame the 2 Feds got popped, probably by a MAGAt.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

The Roadrunner has

zygodactyl feet

good to know

if you should meet

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Zap's avatar

Birb?

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Mavenmaven's avatar

I was sure these were some lyrics out of a Captain Beefheart song

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Edith Prickly's avatar

BEEP BEEP!

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Boaty the plural's avatar

The Roadrunner was the target of Wiley Coyote's booby traps!

Greg Abbot was inspired.

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Rags's avatar

So does Woody Woodpecker!

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el duderino's avatar

I’m sure it will turn around now

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Daniel's avatar

I am enjoying this in light of the "He's the competent Trump!" and the "He's the respectable face of Trumpism" lauding he was getting this time last year. The man is a catastrophe.

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Edith Prickly's avatar

All of Rupert Murdoch's fawning coverage couldn't make that true.

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Brando's avatar

Those "oh no, DeSantis is the bigger threat, he's like Trump but smart" takes have aged poorly too.

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Daniel's avatar

I admit, I was worried about him when he first got national prominence because I assumed he was clever enough to know when to shut the fuck up and how to appeal to the other conservatives (the Cruz and Rubio types) who like to think they're all things to all men, and that when they're out on the hustings they can be belligerent arseholes like Trump to stir up the rubes, but once they're back in their well appointed clubs they can negotiate like it's the fucking Congress of Vienna. I am really glad I was wrong.

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

I believe that the correct way to refer to the fucking Congress of Vienna is "The Sexual Congress of Vienna."

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tempusfugit's avatar

Alas, there's always another shitass in the wings. Dungkin has entered the chat.

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Angryoldman's avatar

thank you for the Congress of Vienna reference.

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Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Thank Goddess.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Attention! Attention! It should be noted that the Emperor...er....Governor of Florida absolutely does NOT allow nicknames! No Nicknames! Therefore he should be called Ronald, whenever possible, without any addition of "MacDonald." I don't know what the punishment will be for using nicknames, but I'm sure he'll come up with a good one. He's already got his knife ready to slit throats.

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

OK, so from now on I will only call him by his full name: Ronald Dion DeSantis. Not Ronald "Freon" DeSantis. Or Robald Dion DePantsis. Or R. Peon DeMantis. Or Ronald Pee-on DeWankus or....

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Zap's avatar

Are you referring to DuhSantis?

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IMPOed's avatar

He probably doesn't like being called meatball.

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Edith Prickly's avatar

Go-Go Boots McThroatKnife said what?

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AIB's avatar

I’ll call Dee Santis whatever I want. Okay, Dee?

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DaveB's avatar

It would be terrible if his new presidential campaign name was Clownshoes. So definitely, nobody should refer to him as Ronald Clownshoes.

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John Thorstensen's avatar

Well, a gendered insult based on "Puss in Boots" might work. I try to avoid those, but Ron deSantis, and the Republican contempt for women ...

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Charles  Schlotter's avatar

"Wuss in Boots" might also work.

"Ron the Ripper" doesn't quite make it. Is there something about DeSantis that rhymes with "Jack?"

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Adonna Frankel's avatar

Hack

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El Bastardo's avatar

Someone yesterday used "Puddin' Boots".

Possibly it was Evan.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Attention! Attention! It should be noted that the Emperor...er....Governor of Florida absolutely does NOT allow nicknames! No Nicknames! Therefore he should be called Ronald, whenever possible, without any addition of "MacDonald." I don't know what the punishment will be for using nicknames, but I'm sure he'll come up with a good one. He's already got his knife ready to slit throats.

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