459 Comments
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wavicles's avatar

Well, I'm sure that manatee would've just been fine in a kiddie pool in mid-classroom w/17 kids climbing all over it; "at least I ain't bee-in runnover by bass boat no more! But I just shit in the pool again and ain't nobody seems to be ready."

3FingerPete's avatar

At some point we're going to be hit with the news that pangolins are neo-nazis or something and I'm going to be emotionally crushed by that.

wavicles's avatar

Never meet your heros!

NerdWithNoName's avatar

Who were the cute cannibal animals? Inquiring minds want to know.

Militant Agnostic's avatar

Dunno what Robyn wrote about, but hamsters will eat their babies if they are too stressed.

wavicles's avatar

Nobody should be having kids today given the state of the world.

Be like hamster... eat your young!

3FingerPete's avatar

In Canada. You wouldn't know them.

tehbaddr's avatar

I've always believed that Armadillos are Tactical Possums, and Pangolins are Battle Armadillos.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Ditch Tangerini's SOTU for "The State of the Swamp" event on Tuesday, February 24, 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m7VpEfNjII

clairence's avatar

Based on his history, I'm guessing his plan is to keep increasing the global tariff until SCOTUS changes their mind.

Militant Agnostic's avatar

The statute he is using this time limits the tariff to 15% and 150 days.

Rags's avatar

Cdc is trying to fast track a politically driven vaccine study that basically exports a variation of the Tuskegee syphilis study to Africa. Long read.

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/new-documents-vaccine-study-cdc-approval-1235518406/

tehbaddr's avatar

I'd like to see him go face first into a mushroom and spinach omelet.

Oliver Furman's PA's avatar

Waste of a good omelet.

counterlife's avatar

It wouldn't be that good if it came from the Mar a Lago kitchen. That place is C- at best.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

During Reagan's first term, Mike Royko, the great Chicago-based newspaper columnist, suggested that America really needed a king, because that would be the ideal role for Reagan to play. He could show up, acknowledge cheers, cut ribbons, greet visiting dignitaries, etc., all without having to actually govern or make any decisions.

Now an Irish columnist, writing in the NYT, suggests that America needs a king so that there might actually be some accountability in the Epstein case.

Sigh. How far we haven't come.

Mr. Knows Nothing, et. al.'s avatar

If I were the NYT, I'd suggest Prince Andrew: he's got royal blood and career education that would include Kingly duties should he go all Richard the III on his relatives.

Oh...that wouldn't work at all.

Stupid NYTs.

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

I'm out of butane so I'm heating my dab straw with a full on propane torch. It's my fallback but it scares people.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Good morning! It's Caturday and laundry day and rather chilly outside and grey. From "Girl with the Dogs", Vanessa gives Bodhi, a nervous Goldie, a spa day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqMRMMWk-gw

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

Pangolin scales are made of keratin?

Nailed it!

EyeQueue's avatar

And your kitty is gorgeous!

EyeQueue's avatar

BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WWRx's avatar

Gotta repost... Bon Soo Polar Plunge LIVE!!!! Might start at 1:00 but camera on.

https://www.youtube.com/live/TkY4BzCikQ4?si=MemaOoxJhFLlcfbo

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

Finished “The Old Man and the Sea” this morning. It was my first Hemingway read. I liked it. It was short. I didn’t realize it was a novella. When I think of the greats in literature I always imagined them to be these great big tomes that are a slog to get through but this was a pleasant surprise. Will probably check out more Hemingway in the future. I enjoyed the themes of perseverance and dignity in defeat.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

SkeptiKC's avatar
3hEdited

I first read that story my freshman year in highschool. It initiated my weird and twisted artistic relationship with Ernest Hemingway.

For as much as most of the man's work annoyed the living hell out of me at times the fact remains Hemingway has has an enromous influence on my own work.

EyeQueue's avatar

Try his short story, "Hills LIke White Elephants." I used to teach it in my lit classes and students really connected with it. Once they figured out what was going on, there was always lively discussion.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Maybe I should try Hemmingway's short stories. I never cared for Vonnegut's novels, but his short stories are great!

EyeQueue's avatar

See my comment above. At the very least try that one. Also I like "Soldier's Home."

Seek's avatar

The Sun Also Rises was the only Hemingway novel I ever liked. It’s interesting and well written but YMMV. I’m pretty ambivalent about him

EyeQueue's avatar

I am, too. I feel sorry for him b/c he committed suicide. :(

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

I thought "For Whom the Bell Tolls" was tedious and boring and was disappointed that ALL the dull, one-dimensional characters didn't die at the end.

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

Good to know. Will try to avoid!

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Other people seem to like it, though.

Richard S's avatar

Hey, Wonketteers, I can use some help.

For something like a decade, I've been a member/supporter of the radio station WFMU at the level that gets me "naming"/"adoption" rights for a fixture in their building. The coffee machine, the elevator, the 2nd floor washroom, the lava lamp collection, a DJ's pet cat, "The thing with the lights and antennae that connects to the transmitter"...... but this year, I can't think of something to choose.

So I'm going to toss it out to you. Inspire me, and I'll even let YOU name it!

Maybe one of their velvet paintings or defaced album covers decorating their walls? Perhaps an important bit of broadcasting equipment?

Here's the gallery:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/wfmu/albums/72157603873576097/

(Note that if something is named, that's the CURRENT name that will expire next month when they have their annual fundraiser.)

(And NO, I am NOT asking you to contribute to them....that's up to you)

Feep Feeperoonie's avatar

Maybe not so much a name as a motto, you could call the Cassette Library = We Could Be Heroes, Just For One Tape

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

As long as they leave that insulation which looks like a burst sewer pipe, then the Basement Crawl Space as "The Trump/Epstain Ballroom"

CzechJournalists's avatar

can you get the label maker named after you? that would connect you to everything.

Zyxomma's avatar
3hEdited

Ta, Robyn. There was no lab leak in Wuhan, but there WAS a "wet market" where it is likely that a pangolin coronavirus met a bat coronavirus and created COVID-19. I'm very pleased that pangolin scales are no longer part of the TCM pharmacopeia but there will always be a black market. Just eat your hair or fingernails, idiots. SMDH.

Darling husband Meccalopolis served our flowery green tea this morning and I made our luscious fruit bowls. He's now creating our elitist avocado toast and lovely strong coffee. It's a winter wonderland outside our windows; every tree is clothed in white. In a little while, we'll put on our boots (crampons on mine) and hike down the long curvy driveway so we can take our not-new blue Subaru to get supplies. Good day, beloved Wonketteers. We love and appreciate you all and we bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.

Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot six months after your last, catch up on any other vaccines you need, and if there are kids in your family, make sure they've had all their puppy shots also, too. Avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from us and everyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because we love you, too. Do this in memory of dear departed friends like 27 Club member Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, as well as nearly eight million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel (we love and appreciate you, medicos of Wonkette), especially ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark RN. Stay safe.

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

Pope Scipio Newburyporticus's avatar

Megabonk has a crazy skill learning curve. I've been playing for two months or so and only in the last week do I feel like I'm even starting to get the hang of it. I was trolled for weeks by wisps in the sky that I was convinced pointed the way to the exit portal. Nope. They were meaningless. After these weeks I am now in the 100,000s (barely top half) in rankings and my score is about 1% of the highest scores. But now I'm getting the hang of it.