378 Comments
User's avatar
sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

It's like the dollar and change some cashiers put in their own tip cups at the start of a shift.

Seed money.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

So, you guys can stand there with your hands on your hips huffing about Ross’s “fibs, exaggerations, omissions, fabrications and whoppers” all you like, but you were the ones who fucked up the math in the first place. And you’ve largely repeated that error for twelve straight years.

A new monk is getting a guided tour of the monastery by an older monk. They come to a big room where the entire order is seated at desks, transcribing holy texts.

"Do they make their copies from the originals?" the young monk asks.

"Oh no," the older monk replies. "We can't risk harm to the originals. They make copies from another copy."

"But, what if someone makes a mistake on that copy? It would then be replicated in every subsequent copy."

The old monk gets a strange look on his face, ends the tour, and runs for the archives. He comes out hours later, in tears, clutching a parchment.

"It's celebrate!" he yells. "The word is celebrate!"

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Dick Cheney's got an opening in his hunting party.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Certainly says something about them.

Maria Sewell's avatar

How is this a bigger story than Ross's biz connection to Pooty's son-in-law, the Bank of Cyprus/Deutsche Bank/russian mob connection, etc....?

Alan's avatar

Maybe Forbes should stop glorifying money hoarders. Just sayin.

Alan's avatar

The only guy who wins is the guy taking the percentage. Always. The investors always do worse than a balanced portfolio of boring stuff. Always.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Until proven otherwise, I choose to believe $2B is real and is hidden in an off shore account for the express purpose of evading taxes. He needs to be audited by the IRS and forced to pay the $800M he owes in taxes plus penalty and interest.

Alan's avatar

It's not. Just one more lie.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Lil'Donnie probably believed the $2B was real and would be intimidated to have someone who has more money than him in a position where he can't fire them.

Beanz&Berryz's avatar

The “R” that changed everything.

fuflans's avatar

ahem. we are celebrating the russian revolution as we speak (well, except in russia apparently).

fuflans's avatar

hahahaha no way fucking america is going to do a trade deal with BRITAIN when you haven't worked out EUROPE and EUROPE is bigger than you and you have ENTANGLEMENTS and shit>!!J@!L

sorry! you were lied to!!

(i remember me and my BFF watching the brexit vote coming in and being horrified. in the pit of my stomach i knew it fortold trump).

Last Hussar's avatar

Don't tell me, tell the Brexshitteers.

Actually we will do a deal. It will say "Do what Washington says". This will be presented as a great success, because the fuck wits will be able to say we have a deal, without knowing how bad it is.

Beowoof14's avatar

Hey he may not have much but he probably has a lot more than Trump