Happy International Sword Swallowers Day! (Don't Try This At Home, Please)
Unless, of course, you are a professional carnie!
Happy weekend!
Today is Sword Swallowers Day, though honestly I have some questions about how that came to be. I can’t imagine they have an especially powerful lobby, given that sideshows are few and far between these days. I did actually have a bar friend years ago who was in Jim Rose Circus and did sword swallowing as part of his act. I can actually “hammer” a nail in my nose — a trick I picked up from a crust punk when I was a teenager — though I cannot imagine there is a holiday for that. Or that it would make an especially compelling sideshow act on its own.
But do you know who did make an especially compelling act? Emily Skinner and Alice Ripley, who starred in the 1997 Tony Award nominated musical Side Show, as Daisy and Violet Hilton, the conjoined twins who starred in Tod Browning’s 1932 film Freaks (which we all know for Ramones-related reasons) and the semi-autobiographical exploitation movie Chained For Life.
The following song, the show’s big tearjerker, is a duet between the two sisters titled, in all seriousness … “I Will Never Leave You.”
And it’s still good, because Emily Skinner and Alice Ripley are amazing. (True story, Daisy and Violet’s mother’s last name was actually also Skinner — Hilton was the name of their mother’s boss who ended up adopting them).
Sideshows were, of course, cruel and ableist and disturbing on multiple levels — one of them being that they were most popular at a time when there was not much of a social safety net, and this was really the only way a lot of the performers were able to survive and avoid being institutionalized.
That being said, Daisy and Violet Hilton spent a lot more time in vaudeville and burlesque (and, again, film) than in sideshows, and actually led pretty cool lives. Not to say everything was peaches and cream — they were certainly exploited by a series of adoptive parents until they were ultimately emancipated, with the help of one Harry Houdini. Still, they were multi-talented musicians, singers and dancers who performed with many of the big stars of the day, including Charlie Chaplin and Bob Hope.
But back to the swords, I guess? You should not be surprised to discover that there are multiple sword swallowing tutorials available on the YouTubes. There may be better ones than this one, but I was barely able to watch this the whole way through and refuse to try more. (Seriously, do not actually try this at home, we don’t want to be responsible for your incredibly embarrassing death!)
Way to bring new meaning to “No wire hangers ever!”
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As an antidote to my sword swallowing induced indigestion I sent the attached letter to Mega Maga Morgan (Griffith) with a copy to The Roanoke Times.
RE: Get Elon Musk and DOGE out of my VA Medical records
Dear Congressman Griffith,
I am a 78-year-old Virginian and Navy veteran who fears that this country that I love will not survive this this administration, let alone the next year. I am also not sure I will survive long enough to see a restoration of liberty. Let me tell you why I am so concerned.
I am a veteran. I joined the Navy in 1965 before completing college. My enlistment was for a term of four years. Other than attending navy schools, my service was aboard ship. While on the USS Lexington, a World War II aircraft carrier with a proud history, the Navy was seeking volunteers to join the crew of the relatively new aircraft carrier, USS America. Knowing that the carrier was about to deploy for a tour of duty in Vietnam, I raised my hand and volunteered.
In November of 1967 I was transferred to the America. In March of 1968 the ship embarked for Vietnam where we performed air support operations in the Gulf of Tonkin. I also had temporary duty on an ammunition ship where I was in near shore waters and was exposed to agent orange.
My experience was a good one. It let me grow up and realize I needed to complete my education. The GI Bill allowed me to get my undergraduate degree. I worked full time and went to night school at the State University of New York at Buffalo. My wife also worked so we could afford the tuition and living expenses. I graduated in 1972.
Recently, my exposure to agent orange caught up with me and I developed Bladder Cancer. After two surgeries and ten months of chemotherapy, it is, thankfully, in remission.
I tell you this as background to what follows.
As part of my medical treatment, I enrolled at the Veterans Administration Salem Medical Center. I have received treatment there and have been satisfied with my care. The facility is, however, understaffed and waits can be long. From my observations, it appears to be popular with veterans. I have never been there without seeing heavy veteran traffic.
Now let me get to the point. News reports reveal that Elon Musk, an apparent apartheid aficionado who displays his solidarity with authoritarian regimes by giving the Seig Heil nazi salute, has been given free rein to rummage through the VA data bases. I believe he has access to medical records and to social security records and soon taxpayer information from the IRS.
I vehemently object to this gross invasion of my privacy by DOGE. I also firmly believe he is migrating this information to his servers to be used for nefarious purposes.
My other objection is the systematic cruelty shown to our honorable veterans. Elon Musk and DOGE are firing federal workers 25% of whom are veterans. The termination notices are defamatory and exceedingly cruel. Veterans are given no warning and are discarded like refuse. They are now without income, severance benefits and no cushion to help them and their families survive for even two weeks. Over 1,000 workers have been fired at the VA.
Instead of showing even a modicum of decency, Elon Musk and DOGE his vicious enablers prance around the CPAC stage laughing about the mayhem they are causing using a chain saw as a prop. The effects of the indiscriminate firings will be felt immediately. Delays for treatment will grow, and some therapies may no longer be available. For all I know, the ultimate goal is the elimination of the VA altogether.
This letter is focusing on the plight of veterans. The utter destruction of the agencies that were designed to keep us safe will be the subject of another letter.
Now to the point of my letter. You are not doing enough. I call your office every day looking for help and your staff cannot give me answers.
I want an answer – What are you going to do to 1) protect veterans, and 2) protect my data?
Please help save our democracy. If not for me, then for my two children and my five granddaughters.
Very Truly yours,
Henry B. Roberts
Blacksburg, VA
cc: Roanoke Times
15 second ad that should be running in Maine in print, silent on Television, and with simple voiceover on radio:
“Senator Collins.
The governor of Maine can stand up to Trump.
Why can’t you?”