377 Comments
User's avatar
amyamnesia's avatar

Thanks for posting this! I am an actual for real sword swallower and participated in the festivities yesterday at the Ripley’s Believe-it-or-Not in Hollywood. We do a “big swallow” where at 2:22pm on 2/22 as many sword swallowers as possible all swallow at once. It’s a dying art - cuz we keep dying 😉- but we love it.

Expand full comment
Nae Kings!'s avatar

I gagged just watching the first twenty seconds!

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Zyxomma here. We've had our breakfasts and been to town to get cat food and firestarter; we're reheating a fabulous casserole Meccalopolis has dubbed forager's pie. He named it thus because unlike shepherd's or cottage pie, the "meat" is mushrooms. It is SO good! Speaking of good, good day, beloved Wonketteers. I love and appreciate you all and I bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.

Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot when due and catch up on other vaccines you need (while we can get them!), avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from me and everyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because I love you, too. Do this in memory of dear departed family and friends like Forever 27 Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, among over seven million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses (so many wonderful Wonkette nurses!) and other frontline medical personnel, particularly ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark RN. Be kind, especially to yourself, and please please PLEASE stay safe.

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

Expand full comment
Erisian's avatar

"Today is Sword Swallowers Day, though honestly I have some questions about how that came to be."

I had to look up when Sword Swallowers Day originated, and I lost a bet with myself over it. It turns out that the first Sword Swallowers Day was in 2007. My bet was that Mooseballs Mussolini started it as a token of appreciation to the world of carnies, of which he is a member in good standing. In fact, I hear that the Fulvous Flatulence will be inaugurated into the Carnie Hall of Fame for his unrivaled ability to draw in the Rubes, fleece them out of everything in their pockets, and have them leaving happy with smiles on their faces.

-----

"Sideshows were, of course, cruel and ableist and disturbing on multiple levels"

Another reason for their popularity, IMO, was that the sideshows gave poor rural and inner city folk someone they could look down on and pity -- the same way society has pretty much always looked at them. The "Freak Shows" also gave the Rubes a short break from the downtrodden lives they were living... for the same reason.

-----

"Way to bring new meaning to “No wire hangers ever!”"

There are already multiple meanings, this is just one more. The two most popular uses of wire hangers in the past, were:

1 Use one as a whip to punish someone;

2 The medical device most popular with back alley abortionists, pre-Roe. (Expect a burgeoning growth in this profession, thanks to the Sociopathic Marigold Swamp Monster, his trained attack Dachshunds and his rabid lapdogs courting the pseudochristians within the Christian Nationalist and American Evangelical movements -- neither of which has even a small clue as to what being a Christian really entails.)

fnord

Expand full comment
AthenaH2SO4's avatar

True story, I actually used to know a sword swallower! She was just a super interesting person in general, although not the best server I ever had. I know quite a few circus folk, which somehow makes a lot of sense.

Expand full comment
A Tad Impatient With ... AOT,K's avatar

'Your zippy old PC, more powerful than all the (few) computers on your old SSBN 654, cannot be upraded to Windows 11. Please play again.'

Fine, Senor Gates. Here's an i7-based new toy, with specs prolly ridiculously high, short of a gaming computer.

[ Um, set your monitor to HDMI, not analog. Dumbass.]

My new PC is already dissing me. "This Windows 11 update will take a while. Feel free to walk away, but please leave your PC plugged in and turned on." I'm feel like it's already telling me I'm unnecessary in this relationship. I used to joke about being a Luddite, but I think I'm becoming a card-carrying member of that party.

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

Today’s household printers are downright threatening. “If we find out you’ve been using unauthorized cartridges we’ll come to your house and personally remove them”

Expand full comment
ziggywiggy's avatar

My damn computer keeps on begging me to update to Windows 11. I turned off updates after Windows told me your old ass computer can't handle 11. Then stop asking me!

Expand full comment
Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Our desktop is at least 15 years old, and made it as far as Windows 10. No Windows 11 for old reliable. I bought Mrs Mild a laptop about 4 or 5 years ago; Billy Gates says it's too old for Windows 11.

I've got a MacBook Air that I hope will see me through the Trumpocalypse.

Expand full comment
Androgenous AF's avatar

I wonder if life as we know it, will make it through Trumpdamn...

Expand full comment
You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

Not to be Debbie Downer, but if SCOTUS doesn't pump the brakes on this speed run to a fascist dictatorship within the next week or so all bets are off.

Expand full comment
CanadianBacon's avatar

Oscar is BEAUTIFUL. We had a Oriental shorthair too, name of Shaitan, many moons ago (ok, it was the late ninetys).

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bDI_RoZH6AQh7FzSBAJ4PHm96ODcD9i4/view?usp=sharing

Yes it was taken from Dune, but the books (g*ddammit!). At the same time we also had another cat named WORM.

In his later life SHAITAN certainly lived up to his name, you did NOT want SHAITAN angry at you.

Expand full comment
Mister Daikon's avatar

As a Practicing Homosexual™️ I promise to only celebrate this one metaphorically.

Expand full comment
Karen Scofield's avatar

Thank You, Robyn, for letting me know about this auspicious holiday, I diden't see it on my calendar 😂🤣 You crack me Up, and will reStack ASAP 💯👍⚔️

Expand full comment
Heidi L's avatar

OT: Shooting at a hospital in PA. No fatalities reported yet. Wanna bet the perpetrator is a Competent White Male frustrated by DEI?

Expand full comment
Psyker01's avatar

Explains a lot about Politico but still how!!?! https://bsky.app/profile/keptsimple.bsky.social/post/3lihmanwghc2i

Expand full comment
Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Cat is outstandingly handsome.

Thanks for the cat. It was nice to wake up to him. I'm going back to sleep now.

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

I am a birb, so naturally I am interested in the study of birbs. Birbology.

Here is an article about the diets of gulls. What do they like to nom?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2erkry8jn8o

Expand full comment
You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

I know of a guy who is well versed in Bird Law..

Expand full comment
Maureen's avatar

I think the question with gulls is "what do they NOT like to nom?"

Expand full comment
Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

I live near Mono Lake, the 2nd largest California Gull rookery, only dwarfed by the Great Salt Lake in Utah. I worked at a landfill for years, and they showed up just prior to opening day of trout season every spring. They eat everything! Then in the fall, they just start disappearing. Some go back to the coast, others head east for Utah.

Expand full comment
Heidi L's avatar

I read "human leftovers" as "body parts". Probably only a matter of time, and once they get a taste...

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

Anything us humans will give 'em!

I live on the edge of the continent, so seagulls are always around. As zuludaddy notes, french fries are particularly appealing, but I've found the dietary preferences to be quite wide ranging.

I like seagulls. I can hear some squealing now, flying around the neighborhood.

Expand full comment
zuludaddy (seem 'on key?')'s avatar

birb!

seagulls like french fries, birb!

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

Oh, yes.

My family always used to go to Montauk, NY, for summer vacations.

The seagulls there used to grab the french fries right out of our hands. Those were some serious thieves.

Expand full comment
Sgt JMK's avatar

As another summer Montauker... can confirm. Those gulls are like guided missiles.

My sister once got a cup of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top from my uncle's shop in Montauk, and within seconds of going outside to eat it, a gull swooped in and stole the cherry and sent most of the whipped cream flying, and moments later, a second one swooped in and took the top scoop of ice cream.

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

Eeeek! Those birbs are scairey.

Expand full comment
Teen Laqueefa's avatar

One time I was eating my lunch in a parking lot and several Grackles were near so I tossed a few french fries out for them. The next day there were 7 or 8 of them, and I fed them more fries that day. The third day there were more than 40 or 50 that followed me to my car and screamed for more fries. Corvids are smart birds.

Expand full comment
Militant Agnostic's avatar

Corvids aren't the only smart birds. Grackles aren't corvids, they are new world blackbirds.

Expand full comment
Richard S's avatar

Time to do my taxes. Now, do I store these under "2024" as in the salary year, or "2025" as in the year I'm filing them? Which online free filing thing did I use last year, which should still have all my basic info to auto-fill things? Where the heck did I put my copies of last year's returns?

Sigh.

Expand full comment
Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

We've finished getting all the papers to drop off at our tax preparers on Monday. They've already let all their clients know that they are already swamped, and they'll probably end up filing an extension in most cases.

I don't know what our tax picture will be like this year compared to last year (we got a sizable refund). We took a chunk out of our retirement to pay for household repairs and a gift to the Mild Jrs. I'm hoping the return won't be too awful.

Expand full comment
Noma Larkey's avatar

THIS was me last wknd. The one hour I thought it would take turned into 3.5 because the app I always use changed some stuff in their workflow, and also I had difficulty finding all the forms online. Hope it goes smoothly-ier for you!

Expand full comment
Eileen's avatar

We're taking our paperwork to Block tomorrow. Just wanna get it over with.

Expand full comment
Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

I used to almost enjoy doing my own returns every year. When the IRS quit stocking forms in libraries and post offices, it became too difficult for me to acquire said forms in a timely fashion, so I went to the AARP people for a couple of years. Then I switched to Block. It's quick and almost cheap. They have all my records from the past several years, so I don't have to find them.

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

I can never quite get my paper files for my taxes organized well, but DAMN am I good at the digital version, so everything gets scanned if it wasn't already digital, and at minimum I can find everything I'm looking for there, and print out new paper copies if needed.

fwiw, if the income/expense happened in 2024, it goes in the 2024 file, and so that's where the tax return and 1099s, W2s, etc. go too.

Expand full comment
satch's avatar

Harry Reid once said of Susan Collins:

"You can always count on her vote whenever you don't need it."

Expand full comment
Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

I got to meet Harry Reid once. He came by our Obama campaign office in Pahrump NV to give us a pep talk in 2008. Soft spoken, but powerful.

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

Still sorry he's gone

A Democratic Senator with guts

Expand full comment