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plushie dragon's avatar

I was too young to appreciate 3 2 1 Contact. The theme song slapped tho

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3FingerPete's avatar

First, KISS are a bunch of hacks.

Second, name the title of this spicy romance novel:

"Senate Rules Of Ardor"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FDZYm4CVgAQGYSj.jpg:large

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Viole Falusche's avatar

A warning label would have been appreciated!

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Zyxomma's avatar

I have kissed my beloved fiancé Meccalopolis numerous times, and didn't even know about the holiday until JUST now. You should see him in an open shirt!

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Who needs a holiday?

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The Wanderer's avatar

OT:

Today . . . in HISTORY!

6-22

1611: Henry Hudson’ crew mutinies. They set Hudson adrift in a small boat with his son and seven others, and they’re never seen again.

1633: The Inquisition, what a show, puts the arm on Galileo Galilei and forces him to recant his assertion that the Copernican model of the Solar System is the correct one. Bunch of Aristotelian and Ptolemaic turlingdromes.

1774: The British pass a law establishing how to govern Quebec. Zut alors!

1783: All right, who boofed? A poisonous cloud from the erupting volcano Laki reaches Le Havre, in France. Pee-eww.

1812: Napoleon sends his troops across the Niemen River into Russia as he declares war. To the Russians, though, it’s as if the Orks suddenly started a WAAAAGH!

1813: Hearing that the Americans are planning an attack in Ontario, Laura Secord sets out to walk 19 miles to warn the British.

1898: The first act in the invasion of Cuba during the Spanish-American War is the landing of 6000 US troops on the beach at Daiquiri (yes, it’s a real place). The Spanish commander in the area, leading twice as many troops, decides to not oppose the landings.

1940: In a humiliating act, the French are forced by the Germans to sign an armistice in the same train car that the 1918 Armistice was signed.

1941: Hey, surprise! Germany sends troops to invade the Soviet Union. The anniversary of Napoleon’s invasion, too; I wonder what will happen?

1942: The US Congress formally adopts the Pledge of Allegiance. “Under God” will be added later.

1944: US Pres. Franklin Roosevelt signs into law the G.I. Bill. Yay!

1948: The HMT ‘Empire Windrush’ arrives at Tilbury, UK, with 802 West Indian immigrants.

1969: The Cuyahoga River catches fire in Cleveland, Ohio. Gee, think water pollution might have something to do with it?

1990: Following the destruction of the Berlin Wall, Checkpoint Charlie isn’t really needed any longer, so it gets dismantled. It’s in a museum now.

2012: Paraguayan Pres. Fernando Lugo is impeached and removed from office. He’s replaced by Federico (not Francisco) Franco.

2015: A suicide bomber hits the thunder button at the Afghan National Assembly. It’s followed by an attack by gunmen. All six of the gunmen are killed, and 18 people are injured (best not ask about the bomber, heh).

2022: Eastern Afghanistan is hit by an earthquake that causes over 1000 deaths. Correlation is not causation.

Comings and goings:

Birthdays: George Vancouver, Wilhelm von Humboldt, H. Rider Haggard, Maximilian von Spee, Hermann Minkowski, Erich Maria Remarque, Richard Gurley Drew, John Dillinger, Billy Wilder, Konrad Zuse, Ralph Waite, Prunella Scales, Dianne Feinstein, Kris Kristofferson, Meryl Streep, Lindsay Wagner, Elizabeth Warren, Cyndi Lauper, Freddie Prinze, Erin Brockovich.

Obituaries: David O. Selznick, Judy Garland, Fred Astaire, Dennis Day, Pat Nixon, George Carlin (pbuh), James Horner.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Auto da fe? What's an auto da fe?

It's what you oughtn't to do, but you do anyway.

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The Wanderer's avatar

"I've asked in a nice way

I've said 'Pretty please;'

I've bent their ears

Now I'll work on their knees!"

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Garnet's avatar

That kitty looks quite content :).

Can anyone posit a theory as to why the like button works when I am using my phone but not when I am using my tablet? Both are Apple devices of similar vintage (old). As I am also old, I prefer to read on my tablet just to make things easier on my eyes, but not being able to like non-comments is annoying.

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William Donnell's avatar

Substack smokes asscrack.

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Pexas Teat's avatar

Did you comment from your tablet, or your phone? I suppose it's possible you're logged into one but not the other, but you certainly thought of that.

I get weird behavior from Substack when it comes to the Tabs story (always opens in Substack not Chrome). Same with comments.

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Garnet's avatar

The original comment was from my phone. This comment is from my iPad. Commenting is no problem on either device. It’s just the like ❤️ button that refuses to cooperate on my iPad. It works just fine on my phone. 🤷‍♀️

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Pexas Teat's avatar

Yeah, that truly doesn't make sense and I'm unaware of a setting that would cause that. Sorry I don't have anything useful to provide!

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Garnet's avatar

Thank you for thinking about it :).

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oblivias's avatar

Finally someone writes a piece about my super power.

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Babe Paley's avatar

My first stage kiss!

I was in the theater for a while, but I never played someone who got kissed, or a love interest, or anything. I wanted so badly to be the beauty, or the femme fatale, or desired, and I was always cast as at best the "winsome" one, or the funny one...

Finally I was cast in a two person show where I was a wife! And we got to flirt! And the actor was SO HOT! Near the end he kisses me...we got to rehearse! Good kisser, and he had to pretend in public that he wanted me!

So awesome...and then the director, unbeknownst to me, decided it would be more ambiguous and interesting if we didn't end the play on the kiss and told the actor one night not to kiss me. So I close my eyes convinced that I'm going to be adored and then...nothing. What? I wait and then open my eyes and there he is, looking at me sadly. I almost gasped. Tears come to my eyes. I realize that my (pretend) marriage is over.

Curtain.

It did work better, but JEEZ, director!

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James Baskin's avatar

Okay but when is national 'kiss my ass' day?

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Pexas Teat's avatar

There's one on July 1st when Bannon reports to prison. More to follow if Giuliani and Trump are ever sentenced.

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Beanz&Berryz's avatar

Not so much a statement on kissing as an example of the late Dave Carter's brilliant lyrics about kissing gone wrong.

He got himself married at seventeen; she looked real pretty but she talked kinda mean

He thought they'd work things out in the fullness of time

Well twenty years later he's headed south, the close-range victim of her sawed-off mouth

Leavin' their salad days behind

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Crip Dyke's avatar

Also, I don't think this should be the main point, which is why I didn't say it below, but I do think that it's important at some point to call attention to the fact that FOX is just **assuming** Clark is heterosexual. It's not like she's given anyone a signed affidavit or anything.

Fuck their queer marginalization.

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avidlurker's avatar

Well, I just went out in the 88 degree weather and gave the tomatoes a drink so they don't die when it hits 98 later. I'd say I've earned reading Wonkette the rest of the day in the air conditioning with a sleeping dog next to me.

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V4Virginia's avatar

You know how you're making tzatziki and the last ingredient you need to add is pepper? And you forget the top of the pepper mill broke, so you dump about four tablespoons of whole peppercorns into the bowl?

I hate when that happens.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

The usual subhumans have their own take on Caitlin Clark's tendency to draw fouls: "Caitlin Clark is a white heterosexual woman in a Black lesbisan league" according to permachoad Clay Travis, who made this statement, naturally, on Faux Noise.

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Carstonio's avatar

Clay Travis sounds like a name for a bro-country singer.

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Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

If Clay Travis is saying something, I can automatically dismiss it.

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Crip Dyke's avatar

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

She's a deadly shooter with the deepest 3 ever seen in college. No one wants to be the squad who lets her bomb them in from 33', but sticking on her out there means she has the chance to dribble right by and either jump-stop the 3 pointer at 23' or penetrate to 16 for the midrange, or draw yet more defenders to her, allowing her to zip a pass to an open Aliyah Boston or someone the way only a player in the top 10 in career assists can do.

So what do you do? You stick on her like glue at 33', and when she drives by you, you try to grab her, just a little, to slow her up and let your teammates get their defense organized to stop her now that she's gotten by you.

Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes it draws a foul.

I guarantee you, no one else is getting fouled 2 or 3 times a night at 26 feet from the basket.

It's about who clark is as a player. Aliyah Boston and Elena Delle Donne and lots of other players are great, but it's the combo of being able to hit 40 footers at a 3/10 clip with a quick first step that can leave her defender so far behind that now she's playing 5 on 4. That's the threat. That's what gets teams desperate.

And it has nothing to do with who polishes whose pearl after the game.

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Kay Ducky's avatar

Mr. Travis is a troll who hates women and minorities for profit. That is all you need to know.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Clark isn't even the most fouled player in the WNBA, she's like sixth. But, she's a "great white hope" for reactionary male doofi.

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Crip Dyke's avatar

She's the most fouled outside of the 3-pt line. But yeah, not the most fouled in the game.

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Carstonio's avatar

Thanks for the explanation. I know little about basketball but I was hoping she would do well at the pro level, and with all the fouls I was concerned that was getting outperformed by the veterans.

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Crip Dyke's avatar

Shooting from deep is something you have to get comfortable with. She's good at it, but anyone can get nervous, and the combination of new teammates, unfamiliar courts, and hyper aggressive defenses by pro-teams determined not to let her do to them what she did to college teams has her pretty flat right now.

In her last year of college her lowest games were 22 pts and her best games were 45-49. She's had 2 games of 8 or 9 pts as a pro, but even scoring 8 or 9 is decent. I mean, you are playing against pros. And they were double teaming her. I couldn't score 2 pts against a pro team if they laid back and let me shoot. As for big games, she had 2 of exactly 30 points if I remember correctly. One of them had 7 made 3-pointers, which ties the rookie record and is one short of the WNBA single-game record. It was also better than any player, rookie or not, had ever done for the Indiana Fever, so she already has the 3-pointers in a game team record.

She's getting there, but she's having to fight through much tougher defenses than any other rookie has ever faced. Even Diana Taurasi didn't face an organized, league-wide determination to not let her score, night after night, and Taurasi was the best player women's college basketball had ever seen until Clark.

Also it's important to understand that part of how she gets open for her shot is good team passing. When you've only been on a team for a couple weeks, it's harder to know everyone. They're not looking for her to be open at the right moments and she's not always looking for them at the right moments. She's already getting more than 6 assists per night, which is great for anyone who isn't a point guard (some WNBA starting point guards average just under 5). In her final year of college that was up around 8.8 per game. The more deadly her passing, the more room for her own shot.

There's lots going on, but I don't have any worries she's going to do well over time.

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WasX's avatar

JFC, some people. J.F.CHRIST.

SO threatened.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

Well, at least ignorant, arrogant, misogynist Clay Travis is, in spite of himself, is exactly where he belongs.

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Carstonio's avatar

So are the fouls typical for rookies as a part of hazing? I don’t want the alternative to be the racist one about Black players ganging up on a white player.

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abbienormal's avatar

Wow, these people can figure out a person's sexuality from the way they throw a basketball. What an amazing skill.

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avidlurker's avatar

Immigration status too. Exchange from the last election, I believe with The Former Guy. "There are illegal immigrants voting"

"How can you tell they're illegal?"

"Just look at them!"

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Evergreen. That's your cue, Hamilton!

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Although it's a typoe, the word "lesbisan" really needs to have a definition formulated for it so it can be forced upon the chuds for their use.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

I'm going to leave the typo in.

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

As well you should. Good typoes should be cherished.

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tehbaddr's avatar

It can be used like artisan.

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NewLarry's avatar

I get all my water from an artisan well!

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Have you tried that new Free Trade Lesbisan Coffee?

Seems cromulent.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Can't be any worse than Civet coffee.

Full disclaimer- haven't tried it, have better ways to burn cash.

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Eileen's avatar

Eff him.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long,

The Notorious Cherry Bombs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjkLf_X88WM

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tehbaddr's avatar

This is not about salad tossing, is it?

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Crip Dyke's avatar

I found the video unwatchable, and I've watched actual ass eating before, so... no.

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BoB the TacoɔɒT, Tumbrel Pilot's avatar

7 Year Bitch knows about kissing...my ass goodbye.

https://youtu.be/qsvTCGbyINE?si=peQVNDigjsBrKZuN

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