Happy New Year, America! Your Friends And Family May Be Absolute F*cking Morons

It's time we had this conversation.

Over the last year, we have personally noticed something disturbing, mostly on Facebook, which is the official internet home for disturbing things. There aren't a lot of Trump supporters in our own personal Facebook feed. That's by design. What few are there, we probably muted them a long time ago.

But yet over the last year, we've noticed some memes going around, just absolute conspiracy theory bullshit, really bugfuck stuff. Stuff about Chrissy Teigen deleting 60,000 tweets and blocking a million people, Tom Hanks getting Greek citizenship for NEFARIOUS reasons, Justin Bieber's song "Yummy" being secretly about how he was a Pizzagate victim, Chris Cornell from Soundgarden "committing suicide" (yes, in scare quotes) while working on a child sex trafficking documentary.

It's QAnon shit. It doesn't say QAnon, but it's QAnon shit. QAnon as in the rebranded Nazi blood libel conspiracy theory made up by an anonymous idiot on the internet.

Again, we are not Facebook friends with Trailer Park Cletus, because we don't know him . This is creeping in to otherwise normal people's Facebook feeds.

Well, wouldn't you know it, but according to a new NPR/Ipsos poll, fully 54 percent of Americans think at least maybe there is a secret child sex ring cabal of Satanists that secretly controls the media and politics. Fully 17 percent are like yep that is a true thing that is just true. Thirty-seven percent are open to the idea, because maybe .

That means there's overlap there with Biden voters, y'all. A small overlap, but an overlap nonetheless.

The poll asked Americans about things that are true, and things that are not true. Here's a disturbing one: Fully 47 percent of Americans are convinced the "majority" of this summer's racial justice protests were violent. Another 16 percent think maybe that's true.

Here's another: While 51 percent of Americans know Jenny McCarthy is not a scientist and that vaccines don't cause autism, 12 percent are certain they do and 37 percent think WHO KNOWS, COULD BE!

Also, only 59 percent are certain Barack Obama was born in the United States.

For those of us who still care about verifiable facts, and who moreover actually understand how to research for ourselves, it's been insane watching how many people have allowed themselves to become absolute morons who truly believe things like this. Who believe Donald Trump when he says millions of votes were stolen from him, or that he actually won in a landslide. Yes, without a shred of evidence, and even though almost 60 judges, including Trump appointees, have laughed that out of their courtrooms.

But according to this poll, fully 39 percent of Americans are very sure there exists a Deep State secretly working against Trump. That includes 71 percent of Republicans, but somehow also 15 percent of Democrats and 37 percent of independents.

NPR did some followup interviews:

"There's just too much information out there," said Brooke Williams, a Republican voter and self-described QAnon follower from Oro Valley, Ariz., during a follow-up interview with NPR. "I can't see how anybody is not thoroughly convinced that Biden was illegally elected."

That person presumably knows people who aren't bugfuck crazy. People who know how to look a thing up, and know where to look it up.

But "Brooke" right there says "there's just too much information out there" for her NOT to believe in QAnon, and that Joe Biden won the election illegally. Quite frankly, "Brooke" is probably getting "information" from email forwards and uncredited memes and Facebook posts that say LIKE if you agree that Donald Trump was anointed by Jesus to save the world, SHARE if you think he IS Jesus! And when you tell them the correct information and attempt to show them the evidence, or when you tell them where to find the correct information for themselves, they sneer and say "Fake news!" or something else Trump has trained them like syphilitic monkeys to repeat.

They probably think they have been doing their own research. Because see, their friend Betsy Beth from Bible study posted that meme on Facebook about Hillary Clinton birthing a devil baby named Anthony Fauci in the tunnel that leads to the basement of the pizza place in Washington DC and now they are making all the itty bitty babies wear masks so nobody can identify them when they put them on the pedophile plane to Obama Island, and Betsy Beth never lies. How is that not "doing your own research," LIB?

Happy New Year, America! Some of your friends and family are absolute fucking morons or at least moron-curious. We don't know how to fix it, but we think we've reached the point where you need to keep your kids away from them, or at the very least carefully monitor what they're allowed to say to your kids.

So on that great note, OPEN THREAD and we'll be in late tomorrow with your New Year's Evestravaganza when we say G the fuck O to this horrible anus year. Be careful out there. Maybe stay at Wonkette, the Only Safe Part of the Internet.

[ NPR ]

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