543 Comments
User's avatar
Martini Glambassador's avatar

BRB, dumping a bunch of emerald food coloring into la Tardoire rivière.

Oh yes, here is your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/happy-birthday-daria

And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/aee15cb9-510a-4f9a-b14a-7ad03657efb1?utm_source=share

Runfastandwin's avatar

The Orangutan swings

from tree to tree

it makes him happy

wild and free

Pere Ubu's avatar

Orangutan swings

Like a pendulum do

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Stunning, beautiful.

Menotsure's avatar

Some of my best friends are bluish.

Pere Ubu's avatar

"Are you... bluish? You don't look bluish." -- Yellow Submarine

Meccalopolis's avatar

Monkey? Monkey!

Martin Shobe's avatar

Ape!

NatalyaResists's avatar

I want one.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! LOOK AT MEEEEEE!"

Schmannity's avatar

RFKJ: Raw orangutan milk cures brain tumors and rheumatoid arthritis.

Schmannity's avatar

Requires dinner and one of those Eastwood orangutan movies

CambridgeKnitter's avatar

That might get you a sip, but you just try putting a breast pump on there, and you'll find out why it's a bad idea.

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

Only if raised on it from childhood. Abolish cows!

satch's avatar

More effectively than roadkill?

Martini Glambassador's avatar

Of course not. Not a belligerent narcissist sociopath.

kmblue187's avatar

Or malignant, either.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Babby Daria hanging out with mommy! Niiiiiccccceee!

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

This is so serene and nice, thanks Martini!

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Aww. Lil babby of the forest.

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

Happy belated birthday Daria!

IMPOed's avatar

Ummm, are there not one single pair of balls in this clusterfuck?

Wondering Woman's avatar

Kash Patel will never be cool. Or even normal. He's the crazy Indian guy from a bad sitcom, not cool in a Harold and Kumar way. Like in a completely cringe way and not enough people tell him that to his face.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Never pictured that Ka$$hole Patel would be the only guy with enough balls not to wear the damn Florsheims. Huh.

eddi-SABH's avatar

Can someone sneak up behind K$H next time he wears them and give him two flat tires? That's stepping on the backs of sneakers and flattening them for you who aren't late Boomers.

Pere Ubu's avatar

Re: Canadians - I don't blame them. I drove up to Niagara Falls Canada a couple weeks ago and I swear I was the only car in the hotel lot not from Canada. And everyone was very nice EXCEPT FOR the guy at the Customs booth heading back into the US, who seemed pissed I didn't respond instantly to his questions. Had a very nice lunch at a place called Dhaba On The Falls which I recommend very highly if you like Indian food.

Mark Linimon's avatar

"Trump has lost working-class whites"? Who else did he ever have in the first place?

Emil Muz's avatar

Live from Dayton Ohio...the state's largest single site St Patrick's Day celebration @ Dublin Pub.

https://substack.com/@emilmuz/note/c-229257505?r=2lkcbr&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web

It's been a mix of--blowing snow, bright sunshine, and aggravated projectile vomiting (I've not personally witnessed the last part yet).

It's not quite 3 in the afternoon but I'm on the lookout for the first sign of terminal alcohol breakdown.

More to report in OT later...

beb's avatar

Trump had a truly childish meltdown after the nations of the world refused to help him open the Straits of Hormus. Also Trump seems to think he has the right to "take" Cuba just because. Rubio, thinks the old government needs to go first, but really Cuba would be fine if the US just lifted its decades old embargo on trade.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Republicans don't want the trade embargo lifted. If it was lifted, we could import Cuban cigars, and then all those Cigar-smoking afficionados in the Republican Party wouldn't be smoking Cuban Cigars they got through their special connections as highly-important people.

They'd just be smoking cigars like everyone else.

Martha Howell's avatar

Trump just wants to build a casino or two in Havana, and return the country to its Club Med status of the mid 1950s. First we revisit 1979 in Iran, now we're revisiting 1955 in Cuba. Very old men and nostalgia for their youth, ammirite? 🤷‍♀️

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

They are eyeing Cuba like Kushner is eyeballing Gaza as his next beach resort. These uber-rich assholes will claim they are improving Cuba and they will tear down all the previous infrastructure on the shores of Havana and erect palaces for the wealthy to patronize. In the process, they will destroy old neighborhoods and displace thousands of Cubans. Then they will put those Cubans to work in their resorts and casinos at exceptionally low rates of pay. Waiting tables, washing dishes, cleaning rooms, etc.

And then the Cubans will be FREE.

Bob's avatar

The Republicans have allowed Russia to win without firing a shot. The US reputation is in the crapper, Russia is making billions on their oil again, and we can't even say that Russia provoked an illegal war against a sovereign nation without being total hypocrites. I guess Rubio's prize, besides being the nominee, is intervention in Cuba? Please help, the US government needs some adults in the room.

Pere Ubu's avatar

While everyone was looking at the tanks and missiles, Russia won through a bunch of schmucks on laptops.

3FingerPete's avatar

I'm disappointed Kash Patel's custom sneakers have no LEDs. That's a missed opportunity.

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

They should also incorporate heel wheelies.

PropellerVigo's avatar

Where are the air pumps on the tongues? How can those even be called shoes?

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

So it’s relevant that apparently the big GOP donors want Rubio to be the one who runs in Trump’s place in 2028.

I said this about a week ago when people were wondering why Rubio is humiliating himself (even more than usual). He knows it’s not Vance.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Do you think Vance knows? Do you think he's aware that he's not just going to waltz into the '28 nomination because that's the natural order of things with Presidents and Vice Presidents?

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Question - Do they make Patels custom sneakers in adult sizes?

Pere Ubu's avatar

Why would an adult wear something so goofy?

Bob's avatar

Can I get those from Floresheim, because daddy Trump will not be happy.

Cincinnatus's avatar

The power of the autopen:

"Brian Cole, the Virginia man charged with planting pipe bombs at the headquarters of both the Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee in Washington, D.C., on Jan. 5, 2021, is now arguing he is covered by President Donald Trump's sweeping pardon of Jan. 6 defendants." [HuffPost]