Happy 'Stupid Toy Day!' To All Who Celebrate

Yep, it's the weekend.

Here is the beautiful Louise, courtesy of our friend Lil’ Snot!

Happy Weekend!

You know, there are just not a lot of holidays today — which is probably a good thing since this time of year we tend to be a bit overloaded with them. It’s “Barbie and Barney Backlash Day,” a day upon which you are apparently supposed to tell your children that Barbie and Barney are not real. Though personally I wouldn’t recommend that, since kids know Barbie isn’t real and if you told kids today that Barney isn’t real, I don’t know what they’d think because Barney isn’t really a thing anymore. The guy who played Barney is off being a tantric massage therapist somewhere and all of the children have grown up.

It is also Boston Tea Party Day, National Chocolate Covered Anything Day, National Wreaths Across America Day, Reconciliation Day (South Africa) and Stupid Toy Day. We are supposed to celebrate this day by talking about stupid toys that we had as children. Like perhaps the Fashion Fillies — horses that were also fashion models and came with metallic paint so you could draw all over them, a concept didn’t end well for those of us who lacked a talent for the visual arts.

Truly though, a perfect gift for horse girls who were also super into fashion (this is a genre of human child!).

I can’t find a commercial of it, but one of the terrifying dolls my sister had was a baby doll that you were supposed to fill with water and put in the microwave so it would get piping hot just like a real newborn, and I will never, ever get the image of that infant just spinning around and around in the microwave out of my head, because it was freaking hilarious.

Anyway, your present this week is a weird military PSA from 1992 about avoiding being a victim of terrorism, featuring a friendly cowboy singing a song to remind you not to open any packages you aren’t expecting.

Not super helpful advice for those of us who sometimes come home from going out and decide to order some presents for themselves and then forget about it — because then we might miss out on the gorgeous Huda Beauty eyeshadow palette we decided we deserved at 3am and forgot we ordered.

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