A useless toy is something being advertised right now. It's called Bio-Lab or something. It's a flask where you pour a packet of something into it. It bubbles and when that recede there's an 6 or 8 inch tall monster inside (which was always there, of course.) The ad sort of implies that you can create more monster if only you had more of the packets of chemicals but obviously there's only one monster per flask. I'm sure there will a lot of disappointed kids who discover that it's only one monster per package..
I loved my Etch-a-Sketch and Lincoln Logs. For my seventh birthday, I got a knockoff Barbie named Nina (she was prettier than Barbie; very sexy), and I made her fabulous outfits out of mom's sewing scraps. I even cut tiny pieces of cardboard to make stacked heels.
There was a doll that came with baby food and after it ate it would poop so the joy of diaper changing could be had. Naturally when the prepackaged "food" ran out the little mommies would feed their dolly real food. You then ha a doll full of mold and maggots. The grownups were not impressed. MY mother just huffed "Well? what did they think was going to happen?"
My stupidest toy was a Bless You Baby Tenderlove doll. She would get a runny nose if you fed her a water filled bottle and sneeze when her tummy was squeezed. Mine stopped sneezing after my sister, in a fit of jealousy, slammed the doll's head over my bed's foot board. After that, she only weezed, so she became Asthma Baby Tenderlove.
I think my wife was one of those fashion/horse girl human subtypes. Her father was an amateur draft horse farmer and liked to have his kids and grandkids ride on his antique horse-drawn sleigh during the holidays if there was snow. She volunteered at a horse farm for developmentally disabled kids in appropriate riding activities. She designed and made theatrical costumes in her youth and loved fashion, vintage clothing, and accessories, and introduced me to Project Runway which she was engrossed in watching and opining.
I went to school with a girl who grew up on a horse farm and was really good at art. She drew a lot of horses. In high school, she took shop class, learned how to make wooden signs, set up a studio in one of the outbuildings, and started doing farm signs. Put herself through college with what she made in high school.
When I was 10, I got a chemistry set. This was back when chemistry sets had a severe array of explosive chemicals. Naturally, in my job as Boy, I would mix them all together into a toxic stew and try to ignite the disturbing concoctions. Today, as a growed-up father of four boys, I whole-heartedly support rules that have made these kits safer so Boy Don’t Get Blowed Up. While I thankfully failed in my attempts to make ‘splosions, I did succeed in creating a strangely-purple stain on the living room carpet that never came off. Ever. The Gods know Mom tried.
I failed to get anything to blow up, but a scout friend showed up with his forearm in bandages after having successfully created a, ahem, low activation energy concoction and brushed the scraps off the workbench with his arm...
Hahaha! But, ouch! Those sets didn't come with any safety equipment. Thing is, I enjoyed the set a great deal. It was one of my all-time favorite Christmas gifts. I still loved mixing stuffs. Even in college, I looked forward to chem lab.
You know what is real? Happy Fun Ball™️
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!
Oh c’mon. Lawn Darts.
A useless toy is something being advertised right now. It's called Bio-Lab or something. It's a flask where you pour a packet of something into it. It bubbles and when that recede there's an 6 or 8 inch tall monster inside (which was always there, of course.) The ad sort of implies that you can create more monster if only you had more of the packets of chemicals but obviously there's only one monster per flask. I'm sure there will a lot of disappointed kids who discover that it's only one monster per package..
I'd nominate the Water Wiggle for awful toy because that bastard would beat the shit out of you...
Water babies! I didn't ban a lot of toys, but I banned those. Mostly b/c I was afraid they would leak black moldy water all over the place.
Happy Beethoven's Birthday to all!
I loved my Etch-a-Sketch and Lincoln Logs. For my seventh birthday, I got a knockoff Barbie named Nina (she was prettier than Barbie; very sexy), and I made her fabulous outfits out of mom's sewing scraps. I even cut tiny pieces of cardboard to make stacked heels.
That PSA seems as much tips for terrorists on how to blend in as it is tips to avoid being targeted. oO
No love for lawn darts?
Stupidest toy? The electric football game that vibrated the players randomly around the field.
Stupid toy runner up.
Gooey Louie
https://youtu.be/czEsgkVifWM?si=NPh6yc2X4rJqzJR_
Blend in with the locals? Does that mean I have to use the N word in small redneck towns so they'll know I'm not a terrorist?
like Jason Spencer on the Sacha Baron Cohen show?
There was a doll that came with baby food and after it ate it would poop so the joy of diaper changing could be had. Naturally when the prepackaged "food" ran out the little mommies would feed their dolly real food. You then ha a doll full of mold and maggots. The grownups were not impressed. MY mother just huffed "Well? what did they think was going to happen?"
My stupidest toy was a Bless You Baby Tenderlove doll. She would get a runny nose if you fed her a water filled bottle and sneeze when her tummy was squeezed. Mine stopped sneezing after my sister, in a fit of jealousy, slammed the doll's head over my bed's foot board. After that, she only weezed, so she became Asthma Baby Tenderlove.
I think my wife was one of those fashion/horse girl human subtypes. Her father was an amateur draft horse farmer and liked to have his kids and grandkids ride on his antique horse-drawn sleigh during the holidays if there was snow. She volunteered at a horse farm for developmentally disabled kids in appropriate riding activities. She designed and made theatrical costumes in her youth and loved fashion, vintage clothing, and accessories, and introduced me to Project Runway which she was engrossed in watching and opining.
I went to school with a girl who grew up on a horse farm and was really good at art. She drew a lot of horses. In high school, she took shop class, learned how to make wooden signs, set up a studio in one of the outbuildings, and started doing farm signs. Put herself through college with what she made in high school.
When I was 10, I got a chemistry set. This was back when chemistry sets had a severe array of explosive chemicals. Naturally, in my job as Boy, I would mix them all together into a toxic stew and try to ignite the disturbing concoctions. Today, as a growed-up father of four boys, I whole-heartedly support rules that have made these kits safer so Boy Don’t Get Blowed Up. While I thankfully failed in my attempts to make ‘splosions, I did succeed in creating a strangely-purple stain on the living room carpet that never came off. Ever. The Gods know Mom tried.
I failed to get anything to blow up, but a scout friend showed up with his forearm in bandages after having successfully created a, ahem, low activation energy concoction and brushed the scraps off the workbench with his arm...
Hahaha! But, ouch! Those sets didn't come with any safety equipment. Thing is, I enjoyed the set a great deal. It was one of my all-time favorite Christmas gifts. I still loved mixing stuffs. Even in college, I looked forward to chem lab.