Good morning, terrible ones! Thank you to the many of you who sent us money yesterday, yay money! If you missed out on your chance, here’s another!
Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!
The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!
Also! A Venmo!
Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.
Now onto these tabs!
Please don’t try to crash airplanes, that’s awful! (Reuters)
Yesterday’s Schmittacular was so much fun, let’s see what everybody else had to laugh about it! Hahahaha, they made Our Liz asterisk “f*ckup.” Good lord, if only Merrick Garland had even thought about abusing his office to git Trump. (Public Notice) This is a problem though: On the Right, they’re pretending the gotcha was true, and since Eric Schmitt is a brazen liar, he’s going with it. (The Bulwark) And the corporate media? Well it’s just a “gaffe” and a whoopsie! (The Fucking News) The best part of this one is the inclusion of the local (to Schmitt) St. Louis news team covering it like a sports story, because basketball, but going pretty fuckin hard in the paint. (Status Kuo)
The many many ways Trump’s plan to force elections officials to send mail ballots via certified mail — including you would have to be home to sign for it LOL — was stupid and the worst! (ProPublica)
Stop stop, James Talarico! He’s already dead!
Wait a minute, Texas moms don’t just want private school vouchers and actually want their kids’s public schools to be good instead? And that’s an opening for Gina Hinojosa because this midterm’s wild? (The 19th News)
Prosecutors charging Venezuelan man for assaulting their bullet with his back. (AP)
Todd Blanche filing complaints against Minnesota judges for tort of aggravated said shit he ain’t like. (Bloomberg Law)
It’s not shocking that DNA shows this Black man convicted of murdering a white woman didn’t do it; what’s shocking is that Utah released him from prison. (AP)
Kyrsten Sinema’s married PTSD (?) vet ex-boyfriend trashed her house and blamed it on her being all up in Palantir. Yikes all around! (Alternet)
Me too, David Bernstein! Me too!
I can’t get over the fact that the President offered $5,000 to every adult American, and adult Americans, according to polls, said “Ugh, would you please stop bothering me with your lame ideas?”
This is just absolutely stupid: Sean Duffy has moved on from yelling at travelers to put a suit on and instead wants TSA agents to stand for however many hours they’re checking our IDs. Why? To be a dick, I guess! (ABC News)
Made it five extremely short paragraphs into this article about the “theobros,” how far will you make it? (Religion News)
Sicily used to smell like orange blossoms but then came the Mafia (kleptocapitalism) and climate change. (Fodor’s)
It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!
Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent. You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!
Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?




A little ocelot, why not? Your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/a-little-bit-of-ocelot
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/f13f6be5-f7e7-44a7-be2e-deaac7963c62?utm_source=share
I LOVE those ads from Talarico and Sherrod!!
The end of Sherrod's ad is perfection...
"Fuck that!"
Indeed my fellow Ohioan.