Harry Reid Injured By Stationary Car

Sure, everyone, talk about Osama bin Laden all you want, just ignore that Harry Reid ALSO ALMOST DIED this morning. Whatever would this country do if Harry Reid was not the Senate majority leader? Replace him with Chuck Schumer or Dick Durbin and promptly forget he existed? Yes, probably. But maybe we would take weeks off to mourn the sudden loss of the greatest American never to walk on the Moon. This morning, Harry Reid was out jogging when suddenly he was hit by a car. Reid was taken to the hospital and he'll be okay, so the assassination plot failed. But the most devious part of this story is that the car was just sitting there parked. We're not sure how one is injured by a stationary car, but it sounds absolutely harrowing.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) dislocated his shoulder and suffered a bump to the forehead after slipping Wednesday morning while exercising in the rain. [...]

Reid fell after leaning with his hand on a wet parked car. His hand slipped and the leader tumbled to the ground.

What a disgusting disregard for human life! Get away from your computers and go hunt down this terrorist automobile, Washingtonians! Avenge Harry Reid! Murder this car, take photos of this corpse, and release them to the public so the terrorists know what the United States of America DOES to cars that try to kill our politicians with slippery dew. [ The Hill ]