Wonkette

Share this post

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

www.wonkette.com

Discover more from Wonkette

Wonkette is filthy, hilarious, liberal news. YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Over 15,000 subscribers
Continue reading
Sign in

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

Beth Ethier
Jun 20, 2014
Share this post

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

www.wonkette.com
9
Share

If you're having a party to advocate keeping the gays second-class citizens as long as possible and holding it in the very best swampy heat that Washington, DC has to offer, there are many things you need to ask yourself. In addition to questioning any number of your life choices, you must decide what to wear! And so Wonkette proudly presents the Sweaty Fundamentalist Summer Collection.

National Organization for Marriage President and Hate-Marcher in Chief Brian Brown, shown here sassing it up in the VIP corral, chose a navy suit, which is the traditional garb of his tribe (self-satisfied, irrationally homophobic twatfaces).

Mike Huckabee accessorized with an iPhone, preloaded with quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for egregious misuse in support of discrimination.

Among the depressingly numerous clergymen in attendance, basic black was, unfortunately, the color of the day...

...though these guys seemed to have thought ahead. Crisp and cool!

A faux-Colonial look is always in style, and in weather like this, you can fix a tasty brew just by letting your teabags dangle inside your breeches.

Of course, if you really want to make a statement without saying a word...

...you should dress as a sad parody of Captain America and bring a dangerously long pole with a flag that smacks small children in the face if they stand anywhere near you.

Also, the heat doesn't seem so bad if you're doing all your sweating inside a grotesquely distorted mask that vaguely resembles the President!

And if you're New York State Senator Ruben Diaz , the wretched heat actually succeeded in making your ridiculous, ubiquitous hat socially acceptable.

Defenders of straight marriage, you are inspirational fashion icons for us all.

That better not be a cotton-poly blend, mister, or you're going to hell .

You can follow Beth on Twitter if you're into that.

Want to just donate once?

Share this post

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

www.wonkette.com
9
Share
Previous
Next
9 Comments
Share this discussion

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

www.wonkette.com
Also2Something
Aug 22

Needs moar snakes.

The flag kind and the handling kind not those who were there to make speeches.

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
ViveLaProtestPayments
Aug 22

What does John 3:16 have to do with it? It doesn't say "Whosoever is straight and believes in Him," just "whosoever believes." That seems pretty much all-inclusive.

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
7 more comments...
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Commie Girl Industries Inc.
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing