He Saw Alcatraz On TV. Tabs, Tues., May 6, 2025

Everything he thinks he knows, he saw on TV.

Evan Hurst

May 06, 2025

224

631

Hey, let’s talk about Alcatraz some more!

Here’s Donald Trump. Watch him babble and marvel at how he literally cannot separate reality from things he sees on TV.

Meanwhile, here is Stephen Miller saying we need to reopen Alcatraz so people can really have a visual representation of how banished from society whoever ends up there is. Stephen Miller is a mentally disturbed ghoul.

Meanwhile, Larry Kudlow and Pam Bondi, two absolute morons, also discussed Alcatraz yesterday.

Where is Alcatraz, Larry? WHERE? And why will it save money, DOJ Nazi Barbie? WHY? SAY IT WITH MATH.

Georgia Republican Gov. Brian Kemp is not running for the Senate against Jon Ossoff, so come on down, Marge Taylor Greene! You GOT this and Jesus is on YOUR SIDE! Also congrats on your re-election, Hot Senator Ossoff. [New York Times]

LOL, watch rage weenus frustrated middle school gym teacher/Trump immigration thug Tom Homan get all pissy when it’s suggested that maybe Donald Trump doesn’t understand the Constitution.

Want to yell at Gavin Newsom for being a fucking collaborator and a fraud? Go, flying monkeys, go!

What? You mean Trump DOJ lawyers are flat-out lying to judges about whether or not the Venezuelan government has a working relationship with the Tren de Agua gang? Because if they’re not government agents, then there’s no “alien enemies” to invoke the Alien Enemies Act over! Huh, we didn’t realize they were liars. Just kidding.

Meanwhile, would you be shocked to learn that Kilmar Abrego Garcia might not be the only Trump concentration camp abduction who really wasn’t supposed to be getting deported, by law?

In which Secretary Grandma Wrestlemania attempts to write a letter to Harvard. It does not go well for her.

Don’t fly into or out of Newark. “Avoid Newark at all costs.” That’s literally what an air traffic controller said to a reporter for NBC News. Really, you might not want to fly anywhere within the United States. Just out of it. That’s how bad air travel is under Trump now. Click on the links to find out how bad it is and why. [CNN / New York / Travel + Leisure]

Joyce White Vance on what an unqualified fascist joke Ed Martin, Donald Trump’s nominee to be US attorney in DC, really is. [Civil Discourse]

Mattel toys are getting more expensive, says Mattel. Merry Christmas, courtesy of Donald Trump’s tariffs! Enjoy your one doll and maybe some of your classmates getting taken to Trump’s concentration camps, kids! [AP]

No, the Trump DOJ is not “defending” mifepristone AKA one of the two pills most commonly used in medication abortions. Don’t be a GOOF. [Abortion, Every Day]

Secretary Shitfaced is purging at least 20 percent of the four-star generals and admirals in the military, we guess because he’s not confident enough in his manhood to lead so many people who completely fucking outrank his dumb unaccomplished ass. [CNN]

Speaking of, how many Signal chats was Secretary Shitfaced using? We find out about new ones every day! [Wall Street Journal]

At my Friday place two weeks ago we talked about remembering that all these authoritarian motherfuckers like Stephen Miller and Trump and the others are truly cowards inside. This week it was about how despite their certainty of their own superiority, it’s really YOUR moral compass that enrages them the most, because it exposes how small and pissant and vile and evil they are. Therefore that’s one of YOUR most powerful weapons. Come by and read and subscribe! [The Moral High Ground]

Hey look at this announcement for Bad Bunny’s world tour. Notice anything?

(it has no US tour dates, because Bad Bunny is apparently saying fuuuuuck that) — caption...

Gonna be seeing a lot more things like that, we reckon. (And they should be like that.)

And finally, a point of personal privilege. Add me to the list of people who are just absolutely gutted by the loss of Jill Sobule, who died last week in a house fire near Minneapolis. I was a super fan for 25 or 27 years something like that. A very formative ex-boyfriend gave me her music and Dar Williams’s music and a number of others’ music like five minutes after I came out of the closet. It’s been with me ever since.

Years later, I happened to meet Jill when she was out touring with John Doe from X. We ended up blabbing so much after the show she brought me backstage so we could blab some more. She was like that.

More years after that, because of a dear mutual friend, I got to hang with Jill on a number of occasions, and we stayed in touch off and on. Jill may have written a whole song about “why are our heroes so imperfect,” but sometimes it turns out they really are that great and you’re shocked by how seen you feel by them. If you’ve seen any of the gabillions of tributes from just about everybody you’ve ever heard of this week, you’ll get an idea of what she was like.

If you don’t know much of her music beyond her 1990s hits “Supermodel” and “I Kissed A Girl” — loooong before Katy Perry had any inkling of an idea to release a lesser song with the same title — then do yourself a favor and open yourself up to the rest of her catalogue.

Here is a picture.