Head Of Air Force Sexual Assault Unit Loves To ALLEGEDLY Sexually Assault Strange Women In Parking Lots

Oh, Air Force. Oh, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, chief of the Air Force's sexual assault prevention and response branch. You have been arrested for (ALLEGEDLY) getting drunk and grabbing the tits and ass of a woman you did not even know in a parking lot. And yet it is in fact your job to prevent sexual assaults in the Air Force. Like, you are the chief of it. Please somebody print this out and give it to Alannis Morissette. We cannot wait for that little cartoon lightbulb to go off over her head.

From Reuters:

The officer in charge of the Air Force effort to curb sexual assault in the military was arrested over the weekend for allegedly grabbing a woman by the breasts and buttocks in a parking lot not far from the Pentagon, officials said on Monday.

Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, 41, was arrested on Sunday and charged with sexual battery after the alleged incident in the Crystal City area of suburban Arlington, Virginia, officials said.

An Arlington County Police spokesman said the woman fended off Krusinski, who was under the influence of alcohol, and when he attempted to grab her a second time she was able to call the police, who arrived a short time later and detained him.

As alert tipster "Rich" noted, perhaps the Air Force just put an expert in charge, like making Cheney the head of the Energy Task Force, or Dexter in charge of killing the murderers. (That is Dexter's job, right? We have not watched it. But he is the head of the killing the murderers task force?) Or Cheney in charge of killing the murderers? It is like some other stuff too, probably, like a black fly in your chardonnay we are guessing.

Who else could get put in charge of things they should not be in charge of? You could put Michael Vick in charge of the prevention of animal abuse. Or you could put Condoleezza Rice in charge of paying attention to terror plots. Or you could put Michael Brown in charge of FEMA. Haha, just kidding, nobody would do that.

[ Reuters ]